Jess needs more time

The women that run dance companies need to do TED talks on how they manage their businesses. Nothing runs as smoothly as dance companies. No one communicates as well as dance companies. Everything is clear and you always know who is in charge of what. 5 stars. No notes.

My kid has a bday party tomorrow afternoon… 3 miles away from the Super Bowl.

Send thoughts and prayers.

My corporate card has a 50 cent balance. What did I miss?

Someone asked me to bring drinks to a party. Drinks!

Do they know what I am capable of?!

<scoffing sound>

My sister & I both fell asleep at my house on different beds this afternoon after presents & food. Because Christmas is exhausting when you are the ones in charge of making the “Christmas magic”.

Reminder: Christmas magic doesn’t exist. It’s just moms with spreadsheets & late night gift wrapping.

Scene from A Bad Moms Christmas. Christine Baranski, playing Ruth Redmond, telling her daughter Amy, “Moms don’t enjoy, they give joy.” Peter Gallagher, playing her husband Hank, stands beside her, looking at her. One can see Christmas decorations with colorful lights in the background and you can hear me laugh/crying at Baranski’s delivery because she is amazing, and can make me laugh while simultaneously pressing her heel into my neck.

My favorite line from any Christmas movie that has ever existed.

A BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS

Do all parents hosting playdates send Proof-of-Life photos???

Because that is definitely a thing.

On a street with all the homes lit up with Christmas lights, there is a Porsche that is also completely lit up with Christmas lights driving down the street.

Is this normal Christmasing? This Porsche had lights taped to it. Looked so cool.

The best part of Global teams is that I don’t have to hear American football talk.

Anyone else have files called things like DO_NOT_UPLOAD.json in their local git repositories?

Just me? Ok….

Minor issue with new email.

Root cause: DNS

Of course it is!!!!

Bummed our schedule is too packed today. Missing the Silicon Valley tradition of the local children’s robotics clubs smashing pumpkins for compost.

My children know which candies are my favorite. And they have each given me some from their stash.

❤️❤️❤️

When I was a kid, we just went through our neighborhood.

In the Bay Area, Halloween is now a redistribution of wealth. We go to rich, white neighborhoods for trick-or-treating. One kid in our group got a huge Toblerone that was over a foot long for being #1800 of the evening!!!

Halloween Trick-or-Treating ended with husband grabbing a slice while I ran around with the kids and 7-9 friends. They gave him a free large pizza! So between all of us left, we ate a large pizza at 9pm and then went home. Great night!

Halloween Party #2 was in an Asian part of town.

The Saja Boys costumes were amazing from the boys.. and the men.

I told my Spanish speaking co-worker that I use the word penultimate because it’s similar to the Spanish word penúltimo. But it’s not commonly used in English. He asked what people use instead and I said “second to last”. And he responded with a W.T.F.

English is the worst! Tell your friends!

100%

I was in tech support. And I had a bachelor’s and master’s in Electrical Engineering. I think I had “Technical Support Engineer” as my title. Also, tech support was the hardest job I had and I loved it.

Co-worker swore on a call with ten people. Apologized only to me.

What a gentleman! Ha ha ha

Blazing fire on stacked wood in the middle of a campfire pit. Two boys stand behind it.

When you go camping in a large group and the campfire sucks, but then someone realizes we have TWO BOY SCOUTS in the group and puts them in charge of the fire.

*you’re

I am one of the people that files documentation bugs. So when you use Juniper docs to train your AI model, your welcome.

Also know that there are undocumented features I am aware of that you will never know.

<BIG EVIL LAUGH>

It took HPE 6 business days to find me.

Now that I volunteer at my kid’s school, I see obvious patterns.

For example, of course the good girl loves a bad boy and vice versa. Teachers literally use the good girls as buffers in classrooms.

Teachers are the original matchmakers!

Messi is in town. My dad is at the game sending me updates.

I was in charge of the ice cream bar this weekend. The kids chose gummy bears, M&Ms, Oreos, and sprinkles.

No love for the pretzels or dulce de leche.

Well.

Turns out my parents forcing me to take piano is finally paying off.

Tonight, my children requested “Single Ladies” and “Shake It Off”.

Easy piano sheet music for the win.

Geez

So weird.

Oh. We definitely signed the no photo option. We aren’t listed in the directory either.