Damaged Gods

I would describe my personal style as "looking like shit"-core

Y'all I would LOVE to actually have friends and do things with my life that feel fulfilling but volleyball is on and a glass of rose just appeared in my hand

I mean I don't really blame people on the Christmas music thing when it starts playing literally everywhere on November 1

Late but Andor deserved all the acting Emmy noms. Especially Genevieve O'Reilly

No one can ever find the cum pool noodle

What’s it taste like

Thinking about the parks and rec line where April says she wants to make fun of stupid people while she gets drunk, her two true passions…

Happy Valentine’s Day

Steadily trying to work up the confidence to become the furry god I know I can be

Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fights Than They Imagine WASHINGTON—Contradicting the long-held belief that they would just go off and destroy anyone who tried to mess with them, a Department of Health and Human Services report published Thursday revealed that U.S. males would be on average 4,000 percent less effective in a fight than they imagine. “Despite the typical American male’s conviction that he would viciously beat down anyone who came at him and end the whole thing with one punch, we found that in the event of an actual violent altercation, most adult men would almost certainly injure themselves far worse than any assailant,” read the 80-page report, which went on to confirm that nearly all American males would be unable to execute a single maneuver they envision themselves capable of performing, be it an uppercut, a roundhouse, or grabbing an opponent by the back of the neck and smashing his face down into the bar. “Predictions of being amped up on massive adrenaline rushes or having multiple friends jump in to back them up are similarly unfounded, with over 75 percent of confrontations instead projected to end with panicked apologies or pleas to be let out of a headlock.” The report stated, however, that the majority of men correctly estimate that such fights would last a total of six seconds.

Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fights Than They Imagine
theonion.com/report-...

I just want a dubstep album where the artist, at like track 6, pauses the generic riddim for a second in favor of an acoustic guitar cover of imagine, sung by them. Would be pure comedy gold

You’ve ignited a moon passion in me, Hank. This is your power