Ashley bo bashley

ME: and make mine a double

WAITER: your..your tater tots?

ME: you heard me

::Sigh:: Once more for the people in the back. If audiobooks don’t count as reading, then braille isn’t reading either. Stop gatekeeping literacy.

The Greeks absolutely had it right when they included a chorus in their plays. They knew audiences are dumbasses who need to be told “THIS MAN IS BAD. HE IS HERE AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT *NOT* TO DO. WOE TO THE BUMPTIOUS FOOL WHO WOULD IDOLIZE HIM. YOU ARE NOT, NOR DO YOU WANT TO BE, ALEX DELARGE”

Evil but funny

Me watching a film.

1. Start watching.

2. Wonder what I’ve seen one of the actors in before.

3. Google actor.

4. Go to IMDb/their Wikipedia page.

5. Find out every single detail of their entire life.

6. Realise I’ve completely missed the plot of the film and now have no idea what’s going on.

on “Wonderful Christmastime,” Sir Paul McCartney set out to make a timeless christmas classic and also to figure out what every button on his synthesizer did, and he absolutely succeeded at one of those things

I’m just a girl.

Can we stop making live action remakes of everything and start making muppet remakes of every film and musical

Maid screams for a murder! Detective is on the case. He sees a murder of crows. He decides this case closed, only to be pointed with a gun by a crow.

Not gonna lie… it’ll be really hard to drag my mind away from the love triangle it’s having with Vox Machina, Wicked and the Cosmere right now.

Josh Allen and Buffalo are the perfect match for each other

This is insane. Snow ball in Buffalo every week, please.

When you open up a book to escape the horrors of this world by reading a nice dystopia novel with an even worse world....

Jurassic Park holds up so well. Why did I shriek when the velociraptor showed up behind Laura Dern like I haven’t seen this movie 40 times.

With a win tomorrow night, the Bills can win the AFC East, becoming the first NFL team to clinch a division title with 5 weeks to play since the Colts in 2009 and one of only 8 teams to ever do so.

More stats heading into Sunday night ⬇️

It is time.

“One clove of garlic” lol

I will not tolerate any Jim Carrey Grinch slander in this timeline, that movie is a national treasure

Always the best urge to follow.

Watching the Macy’s Day Parade

8yo: I see Pennywise!
Me: Umm.. you mean Ronald McDonald?!?!

It’s not that you have too many books. It’s that you don’t have enough bookshelves.

It’s green bean casserole season and you’ll never get me to stop loving this slop.

i love fictional women who lie cheat manipulate steal kill destroy. take those male dominated fields. “but what if she’s a bitch” even better!!!! i support women’s wrongs too

optimist: the cup is half full

pessimist: the cup is half empty

me: which one of you bastards drank half my coffee

Is Gladiator 2 worth seeing in theaters? I feel like it was better live.

I’m going Wednesday. I’m so excited!