Tony DeLesDernier

Most people get this wrong; his full name is Laser Ass Knight.

They call me Frank Cicerone, hot dog sommelier.

(It's pronounced Sis Uh Roh Knee)

Why'd they make the Rosie the Riveter statue in Tulsa so aryan and feeble looking? Completely missed the point with that one, y'all. #tulsa #route66 #motherroad

Her: [coworker] is out of town and it’s the Arabian horse show weekend. 😭 So our biggest horse show.

Me: Why does it matter where the horses are from? Are you horse racist?
Can't believe my wife is the Morrissey of horse girls...

(Orange you glad you're not married to me?)

If you play an acoustic electric live and don't keep an extra battery on you - go fuck yourself. #grumpysoundguy

Man, you guys, I just picked up this killer book. It's called the Bible. And it has everything: slavery, murder, incest, a dragon, no shrimp...
What more could a growing boy ask for?

Don't you even know dignity when you see it?

My wife wants to start wrestling, but without her glasses she can't see what the Rock is cooking.

@footballramble.bsky.social
On the Tarkowski handball:
If that happens anywhere on the pitch, it's a handball. He leans towards the ball and blocks it with his arm. We've all been called for it - whether due to a deflection or misjudging the bounce off a shit pitch.

Gang sign of the devil

Me: 🎶Ibuprofen, the San Francisco treat!🎵

Kylie: that's my favorite part of the Chicago dog.

Me: Hey DMX, you want anything from the store?

DMX: Thank you for asking. I would like some tea, please.

Me: what kind?

DMX: DON'T GET IT TWISTED

China cymbals are for dweebs. China splashes are for the numbest of nuts.

Somebody tell CM Punk and Sami Zayn to come to The Whittier Bar karaoke after they get off work.

Can't believe they sent off Emi.
There's no such thing as an "obvious goal scoring opportunity" for this season's Manchester United.
#EPL

Really expected more out of SNL with Walton Goggins as host. Flat from start to finish.

Finally got Sam Rockwell and Walton Goggins together.

The Vatican? I think you mean Second Second City.

Can't wait until the pope canonizes everyone mentioned in Serengeti's "Dennehy." ...especially his wife Jools.

They call him BIG HURT XIV

The Vatican is about to have a lot more road construction.

I heard that new Pope once featured on an unreleased Dead Prez track.

Manchester United losing is my favorite running gag.

Is Burger King still a thing?

If you have to remind us to care in the third act (with flashbacks, et al.), you did a bad job on the first two.

It's become religiously impossible for Leicester to score. Turns out there is a god and he HATES Leicester City Football Club.
#epl #LCFC #JamieVardy

Is there anything Real Madrid do that's not petulant, whiny, or childish? #realmadrid #football #laliga

By*

So "get a rope" is open to literary interpretation... very nice.

Not a day goes day where I don't think about that guy getting hanged over salsa.