Michael Stahlke

Jesus

The GPO is a powerful creature that wants to live.

Look at this thing. 85lbs of muscle, teeth, fur and hate. If I met this animal in a state of nature and it was hungry, I would be hard pressed to escape alive. But she suffers herself to be led around by my 7yo daughter. She loves tummy wubs.

Well. That’s all I have ever wanted to be.

Unfortunately I was in Afghanistan which has no octopods.

I admire their facility with murder but I cannot love them.

It’s a quote! Not my thoughts!

As a further addendum I will say that I will never again eat an octopus for the same reasons that I wouldn’t eat a dog or simian.

I have said this before and, once again I have zero evidence to back this up. But wolves domesticated humans at least as much as humans domesticated wolves. It was a situation where two intelligent apex predators teamed up for mutual benefit instead of killing each other.

I will say, fully seriously, that God or YHWH or whatever higher power you could believe in, created wolves as a test for Humanity.

Because here is a large, fierce, powerful predator with an enormous capacity for sociability. And if you’re not an asshole they will love you instead of eating you.

They are clearly intelligent, maybe even sentient individuals.

This is of course just a quote from a novel I enjoy. But I will say that I would feel badly about eating pigs if they weren’t such irredeemable assholes and didn’t taste as good as they do.

My answer is this: Preacher go to your Bible and read Luke 8 26-33

Mattie Ross- True Grit.

I have known some horses and a good many more pigs who I believe harbored evil intent in their hearts. I will go further and say all cats are wicked, though often useful. Who has not seen Satan in their sly faces? Some preachers will say, well, that is superstitious claptrap.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfect running joke. It’s well deserved and always delivered with grace. The sort of thing you can do with neighbors you like and have lived next to for a long time.

a man with curly hair says i do n't like it ALT: a man with curly hair says i do n't like it

The neighbor I mentioned downthread said Wenatchee was pronounced like “Wet Snatchy” and I made this face.

No sir you cannot

A few years ago I said Wenatchee like Wenaaahh-chey, as if I was Thurston Howell III. And my neighbor still gives me shit about it.

She’ll be like “hey mike, are you taking the yacht to wen-ahhh-chey this summer?”

WA state place and street names are a never ending shibboleth that you will always fail if you’re not born here. Wenatchee, Sequim, Sprague, Puyallup for God’s sake.

I dunno. She was recently a registered foreign agent, I have no doubt that in the future she will once again become a registered foreign agent.

Everyone on bluesky was born between the years of 1978 and 1988 so I feel confident making an aggro crag reference.

At the end of the video, ole boy in the train robber bandana says “If I beat the fuck out of him (the anthropomorphic aggro crag) you guys are all gonna jump me”.

Which is adorable.

What good is it for a (wo)man to gain the whole world and yet lose or forfeit their very soul.

If I hadn’t become inured to shockingly mercenary media figures, Bari Weiss’ declaration to the heritage foundation that her marriage is worth less than the goal of lower marginal tax rates would shock me.

another day volunteering at the cbs news museum. everyone keeps asking if they can fuck the news

Alright fellas. Time for bed.

I mean,,,,,look. The guy’s username is The Barracks Lawyer. I would be disappointed if he wasn’t posting exactly like this.

As an actual conservative, I believe that it should be entirely up to local communities how they want to paint their crosswalks.

Me and The Bunk have a similar style of eating crab.

Gotta love those seafood rodeos that come through every so often.