tristan

#KickMeInTheTeethThenAskMeWhyImBleedingOnYourHardwoodFloor

lymphatic chode drainage

make hillary wear a chastity belt #lockherup

i can’t believe i didn’t brush my teeth at night until this year. so nice to sleep in in the morning even a few more minutes

why jigsaw kinda got that arch

side a of Live Through This vinyl ending on “someday you will ache like i ache”……

are they still “delusions of grandeur” if i’m really that awesomesauce ? #JustSayink

bjork and hawk tuah girl agree to debate the idea of asexuality

you’re the only one i can trust

Hung Sheldon

i am the summoner of nothing in particular

AND DO !

GOOD NEWS TRISTAN FANS! TRISTAN is on his way to see a hockey game. The New Jersey Devils, in fact! Go Devils!

Msging rates apply. Text STOP to end your subscription to TRISTANUPDATES.

that was an EXTREMELY distressing time……

the summer i turned chopped as fuck

who dat who dat ? I G G Y

everything feels like trying to get out of someone else’s car in the dark

plants discuss me

wonder what medieval times gas stations were like

brendan yuri from panic! at the lesbo

winter is cumming

porn parody called game of throats

it’s snot living if it’s snot with you

hi i’m detective Areola Juggs

some of you texting the plug looking for K but can’t spell gorjuss…. bitch you need to ask for PRE-K

that picture on the wall you’re scared of looks just like you

#GOATWATCH

i’m in a clituationship with the pussy

join me in the pharaoh’s temple