Suspiciously Nice Prof

You go ahead and call it Palentine's day and invite your friends over.

And I hope you never outgrow cute names for the stuff you do.

"Let's help our students!"
"Yes!"
"Volunteers for job interview practice?"
"Here!"
"Volunteers for the barber class practice?"
"Here!"
"Volunteers for the phlebotomy class practice?"
"...."
"Guys?"
"...."

How students can imagine I won't know an analysis is A.I...

2 pages of rambling about what a provided picture "may" "possibly" look like. "Probably" a famous piece of art. "Could be" symbolic. "Most likely" has a deeper meaning.

100% written by a furby.

Applied for a job, so I might actually have to start answering the phone when it rings.

Please keep me in your thoughts during this trying time.

I think I'm a pretty modern teacher, but then I'm left staring at an email where I was checking on a struggling student in my class, worried about grades and attendance, and they sent me back--a thumbs up emoji.

So... I don't have... anything to worry about...?

I am from-a-distance proud of the former picky eaters who now love sushi.

That moment must have felt like the scene in Into the Spiderverse where Miles has to take a chance and jump off a building.

But they did it.

Anybody have Kindle Unlimited? I wrote a little novella called "Meet Me at the Castle Library," and it's up there for a few weeks.

It's a modern beauty and the beast story for library fans.

It is hard being a kid because they will tell you that you can't put chocolate milk in your cereal.

But then you grow up, and you can put chocolate milk on whatever you want.

Society has changed so much in the last two decades that, if you suggest not allowing student phones in classrooms, people will act like you're a sadistic madman.

That...didn't use to happen.

Ask your class to make as may words as they can out of another word in 5 minutes (kinda like boggle).

Play the game occasionally through the term and keep reminding them that the more they play with words the better their vocab recall will be. And it's fun.

Making something is always a win.

Controversial take: Grading "a little every day" actually takes significantly longer than grading the full pile in one go.

There might be mental health benefits to small bites (especially if the assignments are rough), but practical scheduling has me avoiding multiple stop/starts. I need flow.

There should be a signed form for students who retake our classes where they have to promise to act surprised when they see my lessons again.

"I promise not to be bored. This class is interesting and not at all like a rerun." (Student Signature)

Community college is the best. I get aalllllll the students. It's a box of experience chocolates every semester.

These people might never have had a chance to talk to each other if not for our class.

Husband and I have a sizable age gap which he jokes makes us look like a sugar daddy situation, and he loves leaning into it.

He just made a show of having me pay for my purchase at checkout with "his" card.

We have the same account.

I think it's time for the good-hearted people who imagine they're not good/smart enough to go into politics to do so.

We have too much of the opposite.

Being 39 is becoming more picky about candy than vegetables.

Just a complete tastebud turnaround from what I started with as a kid.

Teachers: I need a book that's newish and so *out there* that the chatbots won't be able to do the work for my students.

Me: (holds up Piranesi so fast my arm hurts)

Accidentally forgot to change everything about my life over break, and school starts back tomorrow.

Every. Time.

Just did all the little family admin jobs I've been dreading.

Took me an hour.

Brains are illogical manufacturers of dread. My dread-maker is about as accurate as chatgpt.

Looking at certifications and their job prospects and thinking "I don't know if that salary is worth the hassle tho."

Then realizing I am a teacher making half of said salary...

Need to rethink some things.

If you hate a job you have to do, turn on the stop watch feature to see how long the job actually takes.

Schools me every time.

Dear Teachers,

How many days does it take, after the semester ends, for you to sink back in to your hobbies?

I still approach my laptop and veer sharply away, like we're similarly poled magnets. Can't. Reach. It.

"You will be left behind if you don't use gen A.I."

Like, I am literally concerned gen A.I. is causing the dumbing down of our society. Why would I want to join in?

Gen A.I. is not good for our brains.

My brain automatically views my surroundings like an alien trying desperately to blend in here on earth.

"Oh jeez, I'm lazing around on Christmas. This can't be right."
(Checks Twitter and Facebook.)
"No, no, the other humans apparently do this too."

You will have your wages garnished if you default on student loans?

Unless you went to Trump University, which was such a scam that student loans from there were all forgiven by the federal government.

The budget is in bad hands.

I have never had a filling before, and kiddo just had his first. They said over and over that it was just a small one but it was still like a 20 minute procedure and I will be extra brushing my teeth tonight.

"Dashes are a sign of A.I."

Never-gonna-give-you-up
Never-gonna-let-you-down
Never-gonna-run-around-and-desert-you
Never-gonna-make-you-cry
Never-gonna-say-goodbye

Neat, tightly wrapped presents are the least fun to open. I'm apologizing the whole time and wondering if I should save the ribbons.

Give me a bubbly wrapped blob of good, rippy paper, and I will cheerily shred.

No, sorry, I can't meet between 4 and 6 p.m. Those are my stupid hours.