The C Programming Language

At the most fundamental level, bloodborne is a game about maintaining legacy code

The cat has once again deployed a devastating DDoS attack against my "lap" microservice, causing me to miss work,

The scrum master smiles at nobody in particular. "Time to have a bit of fun! This week's retro will be Harry Potter themed" My eyes instinctively dart towards the exit. The padlocks are already in place

The problem with words is that they are sometimes only 16 bits. Try using dwords

Assessing the quality of a random number generator is luckily quite simple. Every time it gives you a value, ask yourself: did I expect this to happen?

shut up shut up shut up

haha yeaahhhh bestiee

Mr bomberguy thank goodness you're here. I have been brutally plagiarized by C++ . All that array shit you hate is me!! It's all MY bad design! Please kill bjarne stroustrup

Alonzo Church must have been a huge half life fan. I wonder if he ever worked at valve

Recursion is a mental illness. You want to do WHAT to my call stack?? How do people think it's natural to put a thing inside itself? Literally makes me sick just thinking about it

Really excited about "scripts"! 🤔 They are a kind of agentic AI model that autonomously interacts with your computer by using "statements" generated through a developer-machine interface. 😲 This is some seriously disruptive stuff and really shoes how much AI is changing the scene! 😳

Date: "So are you like... a hacker?"
Me: *busts out flipper zero* "Heh. Let's just say.... if you were running a 10 year old version of iOS... you'd be in a lot of trouble right now"

Embedded Software development is Software development in C23 where the #embed directive is used. This is just one of many fields of software development discovered by @thephd.dev

AI Overview No, Linus Torvalds did not die of rabies; he is alive and continues to be active in software development. The information about rabies is a false rumor, and he is well-known for creating the Linux kernel. Linus Torvalds is alive: Torvalds is still active and involved in projects like the development of the Linux kernel and the Git version control system. No official source confirms his death: There are no credible reports or official announcements about his death, let alone from rabies.

woah... mandela effect..

This 97 year old compiler still unrolls its loops the old-fashioned way

Sometimes I like to write an #undef for a macro that was never defined in the first place, usually in the middle of a file. Keeps the maintainers on their toes

this is because people are stored in a ring buffer. its a posix compatibility thing

The amateurs in the python steering council are fine with adding useless language features like "t-strings" or "r-strings" (???) but won't even acknowledge my ꙮ-string PEP. I'm fucking done

In many ways, C is a quirky, Earthbound-inspired RPG

That Turing guy clearly didn't know what he was taking about cause you can just do scan-build gcc main.c to check if a program will halt

A n executable is just aaaaaa. A function that takes an string and returns a char. And sometimes turns off your computer .

True and real.

My name is Björkus and this is my favorite comment on the Committee.

Tip: put all your includes in include.h and then #include <include.h> in every file.this adheres to DRY and will have no negative consequences

Technically a Caesar cipher is military-grade encryption. They don’t mention *which* military

Sometimes you observe a perfectly normal, innocent microcontroller and just. Can't stop yourself from giving it seven mental illnesses

job skills include:

python
pytorch
nodejs
react
inducing existential dread
inducing thalassophobia
calling things crabs
referencing blood
exactly hitting character limits
giving people new kinks
aimlessly wandering the labyrinth of reality
looking at the ocean
no, I mean really *looking* at her
git

REAL programmers are equal to their own complex conjugate

REAL programmers have an imaginary component equal to zero

REAL programmers touch type so they never have to look. You should never have to look. Don't make me l