uncle’s diner

we have discontinued our “superheroes eat free” promotion due to some property damage here at the diner

pancakes are off the menu until roger brings my keys back

dont hold your breath the app is taking time to build

rewards system currently in the works

bring your book club to dine together and get 20% off your bill

we used to have a guy with a pet bird and the bird would talk so much shit

we love pets but they are not allowed in the diner, too many conflicts

bring proof that your biodata was stolen and get a free omelette

free drinks on tuesday* - all day long

*when you purchase a meal

DO NOT reach into the pickled egg jar with your nasty fingers WE WILL GET THE EGG OUT FOR YOU

good food, live shows, mediocre service, we have it all here at Uncle’s Diner - and come see our special guest: The Ghost of Christmas Past! performing every wednesday and friday night at 6PM all month long

vampires love our steak , it’s the signature rub we use

LISTEN, we tried it but there were too many vampires stopping by in the wee hours of the night and the regulars were getting upset bc we kept running out of steaks

we will not be returning to the 24/7 schedule ever again, the new schedule is 5AM-9PM

THE BOOTHS ARE FOR DINING, NOT FOR RELIEVING YOURSELF - WE HAVE BATHROOMS, PLEASE USE THEM

don’t come by if youre just going to complain at the counter for 45 minutes without ordering anything i will kick your ass out

come by on friday for our new jukebox unveiling and get a free slice of pie

if you see a rat in the bathroom dont kill it, he eats the roaches

FREE: get free lunch for kids EVERY DAY if they have a broken bone

eddie if you ask me if you can pay $6.99 instead one more time i will ban you from the restaurant

STEAK AND POTATOES

FRIDAYS just $7.99

get 2+ plates and get FREE DRINKS

we have removed the arcade machine for now, stay tuned

BATHROOMS ARE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION

please be understanding while we remodel

and please stop pissing on the building

thank you

arnold is welcome anytime

you can get the same deals as everyone else without being a “member” just come on down and grab and plate

we love our customers, that’s why we will NEVER have an app

THANK YOU!

donuts have been selling out by 10 AM so we are DOUBLING our daily procuction of donuts , come by at 5 when they’re put out fresh

kids eat free on tuesdays

sylvester stallone has been BANNED from the restaurant

sly, DONT COME BACK

back by popular demand:

EAT
THE
RICH

now serving for $4.99