STAR MAN

Mystic Smeg

Exactly

The dog waiting for a snack earlier, having none of my shit whatsoever.

I worked on that. In that I was a runner for the post production house where they made it. Yoko used to pull up in a white limo and have meetings in the car driving around. But one day George pulled up on his own in his Porsche and asked me for a light cos I had a fag on outside the front door.

Had posh burger and chips for lunch so I’m not having a proper dinner tonight. Just some cheese on toast with Dijon mustard and some lettuce and mayo. Nomnomnom.

Well this is breathily whispering the shipping forecast in my ear whilst tingling me shakras with its mystic hips and fruit funk gobsmack kiss.

Great pic. Lovely winders.

Everything reminds me of her soapy titwanks.

Tickle and a wrestle

Had a nice weekend. I danced a lot and laughed so much my face ached.

In a single journey doing the entire length of the M40 I had to undertake 3 cars who were sat in the fast lane going really slow. I mean these people obvs never use their mirrors to see the tailback they’re causing but are they just thick or trying to prove a point or something? #Wankers

I hate these dispensers cos it’s a game of Russian roulette post dump whether there’ll be enough or if the tissues break off into the box.

It was horrid. I’m still traumatised.

Last night I woke up with my bro in law next to me in bed. He’d got up for a piss and went back to the wrong bed. I feel soiled.

I also saw yer nan’s bollocks, and the poo bag I left at the start of a circular walk that I retrieved and took home in the car and made into a sauce I sold on the internet.

Dear diary, today I saw wizard trees, a bird the size of a dog, a squirrel jamming shit in its gob, bull rushes that made me think of Moses.

Rebel Rebel

open.spotify.com/track/5mZYRy...

Yeah Nepalese cocktail can’t remember it’s innards sorry x

So fucked. Happy saturdaymus open.spotify.com/track/4kd3HI...

It’s lovely round here, I know all the good pubs and walks!

I’m here a few times a year but for fam b days so I don’t broadcast it. x

If ever you’re in Stourbridge visit this place. Beautiful food and lovely people.

Wahey! Nice beast.

She’s a beaudee

Not sat on my nephew’s electric scooter wishing I still had a motorbike at all!

Just had a massive piss behind this massive tree.