Aaron

Obersturmbannführer Ernst has shown her loyalties.

The distinguished Senator Duckworth established that he doesn't know the difference between Asian and ASEAN, but I'm sure it'll be a completely fine non-clusterfuck.

Lamprey.

I really miss the days when a pending social interaction was something I looked forward to, instead of spending the 24 hours leading up to it dreading having to go do it.

Irony is your wife getting her pre-menapausal libido at the same time your body's deterioration reaches the point of ED...

In case things weren't bad enough, I made a baked potato Parmesan for dinner last night.

If I fed that to a prisoner, I would be brought before the Hague...

"She'll take your heart but you won't feel it"

It’s 2024. Why are non-bun-sized wieners still a thing?

Scampi of The Beast!

This nervous breakdown could have been an email.

Little guy refuses to make eye contact, like my dog after she’s shit on the living room rug.

The nice thing about changing phones at the same time as receiving the invite code is the opportunity to eliminate “dead” apps. I had already muted Space Karen, but now I’m free of his fascist echo chamber!

Hello, world!