happy war on chrusmas

Imagine if cats meowed in a British accent. Disgusting. Thankfully such a thing is impossible.

Ad-hoc Committee to Uncancel Lin Biao

That’s more of a “she could fix me”

Oh I didn’t say I could fix her,

I’d get into Europa Universalis for her ngl

Need someone to plant an entire tree directly below my shoulder so that its roots grow inexorably into my back and finally relax whatever muscles are wound up back there.

and another thing: i'm good at posting. please don't put in the newspaper that i'm not good at posting.

I’ve had some frozen store bought ones that came out pretty bad but if I’m at a restaurant I will always love a mozz stick.

Need a Yee joke about your surname and car choice.

Went in for an MRI last year and they found a mass in my spine, got real lucky after that that it was benign and easily removed with surgery. But that initial phone call and all the uncertainty was a real brain rewirer.

Why does that sound so familiar, hmm...

Some great ideas coming out of South Korea right now.

He opened his film ethics class by recounting a phone call from opening weekend that went “we made $[whatever] at the box office, also there were five shootings at screenings” and asking how we would feel if that was a movie we made.

One of my professors produced that!

He showed us Gummo and someone asked him what he thought about Kids and he said "The difference between Gummo and Kids is that Gummo isn't morally reprehensible."

One of my professors had part of that movie shot in his apartment without him being told beforehand, he just walked into his home and they're filming Kids in there.

They laughed at my Nagant revolver, until

Founding a woke cigarette company. Handrolled by unionized Flatbush hipsters.

skeets from 2002

Prequel apologists for sure, just based on Bluesky age demographics.

Kei truck spotted in the wild.

Having ridden one for several years, I don’t think these are an “ebike for your feet,” I think an ebike is an ebike for your feet.

I never understand all the people who live within a couple miles of the bar but insist on driving or shelling out for an Uber when I can get there and back for free in 10 minutes on my bike.

The idea that the Wake frat bros who ruin everyone’s night by flooding the bar would be too woke for the military is funny, in the sense where you say something is funny and then no one laughs.

I think the worst social media tic is when someone types the same thing three or more times in a row, usually in all caps. You’re not giving a sermon, you’re a white resistance lib. Calm down.

Children, even high school teens, don’t need to be subjected to security checkpoints. I wasn’t and me and my classmates turned out fine.

The most surreal part of this video, for anyone too young to remember the before times, is how unnatural it feels for this high school entrance to feel like an airport security checkpoint.

He’ll yeah brother

“Only 1,000 people saw your tweet, but every one of them went on to start an account and post absolute bangers.”

Some classic tweets are like Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, others are like The Velvet Underground & Nico.