slosifl

8PM ABC FROG 2 PRINCE
CBS AMPHIBALENT
NBC PAUL THE EX-FROG

…

12:45 MAX FROGFUCKER 12

AI Doctor: okay great, now go ahead and read this captcha word to confirm you’re human so i can prescribe you mole poison

disturbing betty white: he took my virginity and never gave it back

disturbing bea arthur: and Al is extremely dumb?

(inhuman applause, crowd faces)

me (attempting to reconcile): so what if he has skin webbing between his front and back legs that lets him
fly

my ex-wife: you’ll always be a ground squirrel david. a piece of dirty paw ass walking ass land squirrel ass can’t fly loser david.

they make the hobbets taller each movie so eventually they are normal level to save money :(

Memories go rancid in like a week dude. No thanks. New stuff only.

DEEP SEA VERTEBRATE TRIES EARTHWORMS 🔥

dry but in a good way

ALIEN SETI SCIENTIST: this is it guys

(everyone stays perfectly still until our signal stops beeping)

sorry 4 u 2 have found out this way, un4tunately we have 2 shut down journalism dept 2morrow

gene editing scientist:

CONFIRM BABY FORM

accept this form?

[ Accept Form ] [ Alter Form ]

(buying 100 moles at $6.022 each in 1903)

dessert course sir

and for dessert, sadly, is 9/11-Creme Pie

A formative memory of mine is seeing a two-headed snake in the zoo as a kid. Both of them have the same snake. Absolutely fucked me up.

From: link@hyrule.gov

pee hat

Government AI Caseworker (Slut Mode): does this help [CENSORED]

why did you write “I love u mommy” on this

Does god know we’re recording all this? He’s fucked. Want to see his face. We got you on film bitch.

My third-grade step-son asked me
to read a book so he could sleep. He made me dress like a woman and filmed me reading it. I was like are
you filming and he asked what film is.
I hate this but we’re connecting.

As a kid I always thought purportation would be used for science. :(

(watching kids run around the pool consequence free)

World War 6 Veteran: your welcome

i always wanted to try a slice of their pizza. my make a wish guy was terribly trained and now i’m a type of moth that can’t eat cheese. my wings will fall off. :(

(seeking a second opinion)

is this the amnesia clinic

at the world famous cat’s deli in nyc, after waiting in line for 45 minutes i notice that everyone else thinks i work here

Back in my day the only genders were milkmaid, milkman, and the lactologistical hemiporous milkpersons that form tubes connecting them.

(staring up at icecicle the size of a dog with great suspicion)

gonna see if i can jump high enough to knock you down so nobody gets hurt

ghost of christmas past: so belated merry christmas of course…

I don’t know 6 hours? I hate these.

X-Files Series Finale:

FBI Agent Fox Mulder: ah okay nevermind

FBI Agent Dana Scully: oh well

therapist: holy shit, go on