Simon Christiansen

Watters: I was walking in my street, a car drives by and I give him a wave. He rolls down the window and says, “F U fascist.” He doesn’t know I’m a fascist!

Jessica: Yes, he does. You’re on TV.

Mia Mulder — What Happened To Big Ideas? | Mia Mulder What happened to Big Ideas? And why can't we have Abundance? I know the secret answer. And I think Papua New Guinea is neat.

New Video: What Happened To Big Ideas?
nebula.tv/videos/miamu...

ok this one is pretty funny. is there a big market for fuckable croissants

I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.

Hey there. I see you’re interested in food. Well, watch out, because every food tastes different. Just because one food tastes good, that doesn’t mean a different food will taste good too. Well, that’s all. I think you’re ready to start your food journey. Come back if you need that info again.

barred owl close up, yawning with tongue out

best owl photo i ever took.

Uninvited It would never occur to me to enter a home uninvited. No force field prevents me from walking through the door, but the thought does not…

medium.com/@simonchris1...

My vampire story "Uninvited" is now on Medium. What really happens to vampires who enter a home without invitation? #writing #fiction #horror #vampires

doctor: well mr. yoda, we fixed the language center of your brain. you should talk totally normal now

yoda: thanks dude

YouTube video by OrganicRobott Let's Play Oblivion - 01

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrvt...

My favorite abandoned LP. They should have hired this guy for The Muppet Show revival.

Threads post by coleluisdasilva saying: "Dads who get anal and don't let their girl date until they're 18 or older, all you're doing is telling your kid: don't tell me what you're doing outside my household. You're making that kid rebel."

Incredible things happening on Threads.

Lucy Liu is honestly one of the most book accurate Watson castings. He is supposed to be smart and hot.

Dave "DAT" Trampier illustration of wererats from the original Monster Manual showing two rats with human arms and legs holding swords - one wererat is seated with their arm extended and the other is kind of crouched against their body. Text reads: Wererat: Sometimes known as ratmen, these sly and evil creatures inhabit subterranean tunnel complexes beneath cities. Wererats are able to take three forms human, human-sized ratman, and giant rat. They are typically sword-armed. They use their human form to dupe humans, luring them to a place where they can be captured to be held for ransom or possibly eaten. Wererats prefer to move about in a rat-like shape, smaller than a man but much larger than a normal rat. They are capable of summoning and controlling giant rats, each wererat doing so with 2-12 of the creatures.

GARY GYGAX: hey you get that drawing of wererats done for the monster manual?

DAVE TRAMPIER: sure did Gary - real sexually available and enticing just like you asked

GARY GYGAX: ... alright. okay. thats fine

kamala harris's 6-7 themed zoomer digital marketing group has already changed its name after getting made fun of. for some reason they changed it to "68." we're witnessing a level of political instinct never before imaginable

Nice circus, dude. That’s probably, what, like two rings? Oh it’s one ring? That’s crazy. Oh no mine has three yeah. No I don’t really bring it up it’s like people think I’m bragging I guess. A one ring circus is cool though man.

somebody’s sweet plums are crowding my icebox

somebody’s cold plums are giving me chills

if you ignore graphics, i think videogames have actually gotten worse over time. it used to be you could play a videogame all day and there wasnt politics to consider. now you have to go to work instead of that

Forest Relic 2: Crafting Update - Gator Days Panel 1 Gustopher has found something amazing in the woods. It's a stick! Sticks are cool. He runs to show it to Hannah. Gustopher: HANNAH! Check of this stick! Panel 2 Hannah does agree that the stick is admirable but she is not one to be outdone. She has also found something interesting in the woods. Hannah: Yeah, that's cool. But is it cooler than this rock? She holds up a smooth oval shaped rock. It's one of those ones that would be amazing for skipping but you won't want to do it because it's so good. There's parts that sparkle in the sunlight. Rocks are cool. Gustopher: Let Liam decide! Panel 3 Liam is sitting on a stump and checking out the neat stick and rock that he has been asked to judge. next to him is a little bit of string. Foreshadowing is a literary device. This stick and rock are pretty sweet. Liam: They're both cool. But what if... Panel 4 Liam has read the wiki and knows the ancient art of crafting. He has tied the rock to the top of the stick which has increased the coolness factor and improves the stick's bludgeoning stats while providing +3 INT. Everyone is impressed. Hannah: Whoa! Liam: Magic staff. Gustopher: THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Forest Relic 2: Crafting Update - Gator Days

tweet from neera tanden: the truth about the washington post: bezos made decisions to curry favor with trump that made a lot of washington post readers distrust the newspaper. it then lost a lot of subscriptions, which lost money. and now he's doing layoff. he should sell the paper to someone who will make better decisions and avoid layoffs.

elliiott kalan's spider-man panel. spidey says "YOU HAVE $250 BILLION AND YOU’RE DESTROYING THE WASHINGTON POST? BUT YOU COULD SELL THE PAPER TO SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE BETTER DECISIONSAND AVOID LAYOFFS!" and sauron the dinosaur man says "BUT I DON’T WANT TO SELL THE PAPER TO SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE BETTER DECISIONS AND AVOID LAYOFFS.I WANT TO DESTROY THE WASHINGTON POST."

YouTube video by Technology Connections You are being misled about renewable energy technology.

Let's do this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtQ9...

a little annoyed that 3d printer bfs [gender neutral] all over the country have been validated by the whistles. it's as if the revolution had suddenly needed all the weird cables they're holding onto. you know what i mean.

Is Shadowgirls available to read anywhere?

If anybody thinks this is a joke

"Bluesky was better in the old days"

*monkey's paw in full spasm* *Gaiman reappears*

It strikes me that "to serve" means something different now than when I wrote the story in 2020. Perhaps I should call it "On Turning 19 in Poland".

The Capacity to Serve Penguins are tiny tuxedo-clad dwarven butlers, looking deceptively fit to serve, but with two useless flippers, incapable of carrying even…

medium.com/@simonchris1...

Since Penguins are in the news, I have republished my classic penguin story "The Capacity to Serve" on Medium. #writing #fiction #sciencefiction #penguins

The Night-Bird's Feather ebook by Jenna Katerin Moran - Rakuten Kobo Read "The Night-Bird's Feather" by Jenna Katerin Moran available from Rakuten Kobo. Death’s daughter steals a girl’s self-hate to decorate her garden. An accidental bond of fate forms between them—acr...

I already said this in my newsletter, but I honestly can't say it enough--I recently read The Nightbird's Feather by Jenna Katerin Moran and it was fucking awesome and you should read it

www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/...

I add that not to make anyone feel bad that I haven't sent them a fanmail, but to let you all know that you really ought to read The Night Bird's Feather because it's fabulous.

Bond sat at the window and gathered his thoughts. Nothing that Mathis had told him was reassuring. He was completely blown and under really professional surveillance. An attempt might be made to put him away before he had a chance to pit himself against Le Chiffre at the tables. The Russians had no stupid prejudices about murder. And then there was this pest of a girl. He sighed. Women were for recreation. On a job, they got in the way and fogged things up with sex and hurt feelings and all the emotional baggage they carried around. One had to look out for them and take care of them. ‘Bitch,’ said Bond, and then remembering the Muntzes, he said ‘bitch’ again more loudly and walked out of the room.

The movies don't quite catch just how misogynistic Bond really is. It's way worse when you can hear his inner dialogue. From "Casino Royale".

One negative review killed Pendragon. It was posted within hours of release: a detailed "objective" explanation of why they didn't connect with it.

But it's ticked as helpful by passing people *who have not played the game*. This keeps it pinned to the top.

It's longer than our description text.

Same thing happened with PataNoir. It sold well in the first two days and then got a negative review that completely killed the momentum.