ObsidianShiv

I feel the same way. I only made one jizz themed post this week.

I get it, McDonald's app. It takes me two tries to get up and going too.

"Lunchables" is a good name because it doesn't make any grandiose claims: "This is able to be eaten as lunch."

me as a therapist: Have you tried Etsy witches?

😂😂😂

Scrolling tiktok, I landed myself on part 2 of "The Magic of Making Cardboard".

What the fuck am I even doing with my life?

You've got some serious ass going to the bathroom problems!

*makes random sifl and olly reference out of context to see who my true friends are*

The urge to take up knitting.

One time, I threw the macaroni noodles into the water before it came to a boil. Huge mistake.

Hank green is basically a meal replacement for people that dont like smart women

Celebrity Deathmatch, but it's just billionaires and the last one has to fight a hellfire missile.

most of you need to do some inner child work just saying

disappointed that moon pies aren’t made from real moon

I met a weird girl and within 20 minutes she had me eating nerd clusters straight from her hand like a horse

Boxelder bugs are so annoying.

Oh my

A goony movie.
Leave the teenage dog girl alone, I'm gooning to the pizza.

Smart posts? Nah. I just set the bar low then clear it with style.

Physically in this meeting. Mentally in bed. Spiritually stealing Anton's snacks like a raccoon.

*Queue space noises*

Aurora borealis overhead, green and pink. High exposure image featuring the line of a a satellite's path.

Aurora ft. satellite

These are the shower thoughts of kids with older brothers.

I'm kids.

Sometimes you get that suspicious looking shampoo and like, some dude at the shampoo factory could've jizzed in it and you'd never know.

good news! I am now offering my services as a bee release professional for your childhood bully's wedding

your skeets look like they were written by ChatPTSD

In my defense, I’m terrible at defending myself

for me to follow you back you have to defeat my seven evil ex mutuals