Ashley Mowers

I don’t know who needs to read this, but gluttony has nothing to do with your caloric intake.

I’m so glad I had a baby so I have someone to listen to Franz Ferdinand with.

Yeah A LITTLE TOO RELEVANT @brennanleemulligan.bsky.social

Can’t wait for my son to get diagnosed with autism and see which spoon chooses him.

Asserting my dominance in Nashville by referring to the Rapture as uppies.

hey so why is Wayfair trying to sell me the Ark of the Covenant

Some of y’all really give “live by the sword, die by the sword, unless it’s my sword” energy.

THIS IS THE BEST NEWS

Bring back Darkwing Duck.

I wish HOAs and major online retailers received half the blame for the degradation of society as social media does.

One of the others is explaining the world to him like he’s the delegate of a visiting alien race. “This is our garden. We grow some food here. No it is not cheaper than the grocery store, sometimes it’s more expensive. No we are not farmers.”

One of the great joys of parenthood so far is discovering our baby is thrilled by the sound of @worldsbeyondnumber.bsky.social. Instantly focused. Lots of cooing.

ICE and THP raid Nashville's Latino neighborhoods - Nashville Banner Federal and state law enforcement conducted a mass traffic stop operation in Nashville, detaining dozens of people and leaving families in the dark.

nashvillebanner.com/2025/05/04/i...

Of all the things to make me cry while caring for our son, teaching him the ABCs wasn’t on my bingo card.

I really hope this is the plot Avengers: Doomsday.

“I asked chatGPT” okay well I asked God

ok so I hate this

Watching our friends’ confirmations in the garage and probably wildly confusing our neighbors with the blasting organ music

hush it up, changeling

Instead of telling people “oh yeah I’m fine, I just look like this because the baby kept us up,” I’ll just say “oh yeah I look like this because we rid ourselves of mirrors on account of all the babies that kept crawling out of them.”

Man if any year could use the Prayer of Humble Access it’s 2025.

the audacity of this joke Wyatt

why pesticides gotta hype ants up so much this looks like it’s being released by Activision

Pneumonia reduced his HP to 0 but then the music restarted with different instrumentation and he grew a second health bar.

It sure wasn’t the container.

You know I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping our new kid alive given for a while sourdough was a bridge too far.

Baldree: you know, after a while, an orc just gets tired of all the adventuring
Baldree: cuz you know no one ever told her life was gonna be this way
Baldree: your job's a joke, you're broke
Baldree: your love life's DOA

It’s literally a magic movie idk what to tell you

Just remembered how good District 9 is.