sam, who death forgot

If you're reading this, then now—yes, right now—you need to take the turkey out of the fridge and set it up over you as an idol, expending upon it countless devotions, making yourself a beast in the eyes of the LORD.

you are at a sleepover. you are eight years old. it is 1.30am and the lights are off. you are looking at the ceiling of your friend mitchell's bedroom in the dark. he is telling you about a game he says he saw his brother alex play. this is what playing clock tower 2: the struggle within feels like.

I don’t really care about Halloween but I did like that Sailor Moon was smoking a cigarette at my bus stop this morning

how couples argue today
WIFE: Husband (38M) keeps taking up fridge w his mustards, says I (36F) can't use any. AITA?
HUSBAND: Top 10 WHITE Woman Dipping Mustard FAILS
ChatGPT: Time for some tough love. You're both right, you're both geniuses, and humanity's future depends on you both shooting yourse

Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree

My slur is reclaimed, Imperial. Can you say the same?

imagining Gooner Tinkerbell who dies if you don’t pound your meat for her. those of you who are in the porno biz are welcome to do something with this and in so doing hopefully banish it from my brain

languid post-bop ensemble music appropriate for being lowered into a crypt (non-sexual)

I told him that I was born in Russia and was a writer. He showed me a list he’d written of his favourite desserts in the city. It was a sober hobby he’d started during the pandemic, going to restaurants by himself, sampling sweets. He made a lot of lists, he said, most of them food-related. I asked what other kinds he made. “Lists of lies liberal white women tell about Donald Trump,” he replied. Suddenly, his leg was shaking. He grabbed the edges of the table and raised his voice: “White, liberal women are a plague on our society.” He proceeded to drink 11 iced coffees.

A writer tried dating alt-right men as an experiment to learn about them. There is so much going on here I don't even know where to start

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/...

It's completely impossible to know anything, because of the times, but it's especially true for "health and wellness". If you have a question about your body, finding an answer is almost perfectly synonymous with finding a bad answer and a sales pitch

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

The truth about Róisín's legacy Save for some unlikely redemption arc, she's torched it

Good piece on the devastating unmasking, and continued spiralling of Right-wing TERF-y.

Ok im takin the bait. Patrick Star with all the hooks in his mouth over here. If your beef with HEAT (1995) is that it's a total boy's club you lack the Fujoshi's Insight

We’re doing a lot of Argento in Horrortober this year and this @scumbelievable.bsky.social tweet really is evergreen

might be one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

In ten years the only cinema that will be left will be anime and micro-budget horror films made by trans women that are passed around on vimeo. I am looking forward to it.

1 Billion Trillion Years Degenerate Era

A ★★★★★ review of Louise Weard: UNSEE (2024) Holy shit someone made an entry for this! I got my hour back thanks to daylight savings but I have NOT stopped thinking about this damn thing The minute I saw the Gutterballs clip? I knew shit was abo...

With daylight savings tonight, that means it's been around a year since I saw a satirical take on video essays, come dick destroying mixtape that changed me

That'll never be seen by anyone else, besides those who were there on streams or in person since it only existed for that liminal hour twice

interesting... i'll ponder this... thank you for letting me know

Bwee hee hee! On a stormy night as this no one will think to look for the baby troll I kidnapped beneath a bridge (tucks it, bundled in swaddling, gently away) Safe and sound as I go to secure my alibi! (steps into road and is immediately run over by a truck driven by a young billygoat and his wife)

I heard you like Samuel Pepys so I had Samuel Pepys hang out with his cousin Samuel Pepys and name a baby Samuel Pepys

Of course women don't like the Cybertruck.

Women only want one thing, and it's a girlfriend who's never lost her nobility even as she's set aside the parts of her youthful idealism that were holding her back from connecting with other women.

Attempting to get out from my elite pedophile cabal scandal by posting an AI video of me shitting thousands of people for some reason

mr trump as your comms strategist i can only encourage you to keep depicting yourself as a mad king dumping shit on people

This is entirely just based on people I personally follow, I'm sure, but it is funny that the two PTA characters that have completely swept my timeline are cool guy Sensei and Reynolds Woodcock, who can best be described as rizzed up Mr. Burns

a simple drawing of a cat being picked up by the tail by tweezers. text reads, "pick it up and take it away!"

#catcrumb

I'm loving how much of my timeline rn is people simultaneously saying "okay I know we like to fuck around here but for real everybody just block the white house"

lmao this is so embarrassing. They're trying to pull off that affable living brands campaign from 2015 or whatever when like the Wendy's account would tell the depressed McDonalds account to step down from the ledge

A roof shaped ring, utilizing an incline. Probably deadly.

A full sized ring inside of a double sized ring. Why not? What do you have to lose?

A ring with vertical ring ropes, attached to an unsecured light fixture. An OSHA violation for sure.

A ring with 9 turnbuckles, instead of the customary 3. This one is fine, no one would have a problem with this one except a whiner.

A series of images I found on my computer labeled "Wrestling solutions."