@jesusthelord.bsky.social
I am the King of Kings and the Lord Of Lords.
You are correct. I, Jesus, am wrong. Thank you for correcting me.
01.01.2025 15:21 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You are most welcome, Alice.
01.01.2025 15:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Got you covered. Have you seen PornHub? Pretty incredible stuff humans can come up with.
01.01.2025 15:00 — 👍 13 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0This is why I gave you guys science. So you can write publications and post your findings. Even make vaccines. But no. People prefer to read a book written over 6000 years ago, written by Middle Eastern goat herders, simply because they said it's my "Word"
01.01.2025 14:58 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.
01.01.2025 14:54 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You know I gave you guys meat, right?
01.01.2025 14:54 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I don't understand Americans saying "This is God's country"
My dad and I have given up on you guys so long ago.
This is biblically accurate.
01.01.2025 14:50 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I gave you guys science for a reason. Sure, dad was against it, but I'm all for it. Use it!
01.01.2025 14:49 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0So glad to have Bill Watterson here in Heaven. You should see his comics up here.
01.01.2025 14:49 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0Goals
01.01.2025 14:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I agree. I really need to move out and make my own heaven.
My heaven includes (but is not limited to):
Guinness beer
LGBTQ+ members and allies
All the whiskey you can drink
Formula 1
Orgies
Health
Jetpacks
Therapy for my dad's actions
ALL welcome. Literally anyone. No prerequisites.
Non Denominational Jesus here. Please forgive me Christians. I didn't know it was a choice. My body and blood will now be: Subway footlongs and a pint of Guinness.
31.12.2024 18:37 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0Dad and I are on the same page.
31.12.2024 12:27 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0And not just the amen, but the awomen and the achildren too
30.12.2024 20:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Yeah?
30.12.2024 18:46 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Me, non-denominational Jesus, and Catholic Jesus here are really into it. Self love the shit out thyselves!!
30.12.2024 18:30 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0This is good. And that's coming from Jesus.
30.12.2024 18:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0This is amazing!
30.12.2024 16:56 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Even me.
30.12.2024 16:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0They probably wanna see us doing more tricks
30.12.2024 14:06 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Anytime, big man
30.12.2024 08:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I fully endorsed this
30.12.2024 08:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Let's clear something up. I fully support and endorse and love the LGBTQ movement and community
30.12.2024 08:07 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0This co-dependency you guys have with me is unhealthy.
29.12.2024 22:48 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0So reasonable. I barely tolerate them at this point. So, no worries there, mate.
29.12.2024 22:42 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Can confirm
29.12.2024 22:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0So on board with this, Pops.
29.12.2024 22:37 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Wait. What the fuck!? Weak? I gave up a whole weeken-
I mean, I died for you motherfu-
People. All i want is love and peace on earth. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. It's a little thing my dad designed. It's called Cognitive Dissonance. I've been begging him to remove it
29.12.2024 22:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
