Alice Winterhold

Sometimes reality is strange. I went into the toy shop with Techboy to peruse the dolls and found another lady there with a baby voice wearing headphones and getting excited about dolls

I made apple pie today. I’m sticky now

Here I am on the stairs. Techboy is baking pumpkin pie so the house smells very good

I remember when things were better and we made songs about boys who liked corn

Isn’t it so great that we live in a world where we can have other little creatures living with us

It would be pretty funky and fly if everything everywhere could stop being quite so terrible

I just want to look at cute videos of happy cats

Do you think food would be more or less enjoyable if it moaned in ecstasy with every bite?

Always fascinated by people flexing their lack of empathy as if it somehow admirable and not both embarrassing and yucky

It’s time like this I like to think about deep sea hatchetfish. I bet they don’t know they’re called deep sea hatchetfish. They probably don’t even know what a labubu is

What if a small group of people with unimaginable amounts of wealth and a clear motivation to hoard more of it also controlled all of the media and channels that humans rely on to understand our world? And the majority of platforms that we use to communicate with eachother? Nothing could go wrong

Womanhood is so exhausting
8pm: crying
9pm: furious dancing to Chaka Khan’s 1983 hit ‘Ain’t Nobody’
9:30pm: crying

The glue wants you to reach into their glueussy and take their children

I’d love to! :)

Scammers are feeding my videos into AI generators and it’s a very weirdly dystopian and violating thing to have an AI stealing your voice especially for such nefarious purposes. Be warned this video is disturbing in a nightmarish and uncanny way

Listen just because I’m squeaky and awkward doesn’t mean I’m not smarter than you and also better at video games and wood working and satisfying women

Love when men waggle their tongues at me in public. I am instantly overcome with lust, the pavement erupts with rose petals, a sudden cool breeze twirls in and lifts me from the ground while a pair of doves remove my underwear. The pinnacle of romance

:3

Starting new antipsychotics is always fun because you might expect to get less psychotic but also you might find yourself breaking your no contact rule with your deceased mother

Oh no I have done it again

I’d press my ear to the floorboards and listen to the screaming. And the worst part was I couldn’t tell if my heart was racing in fear or dancing in excitement. after a while, you grow nerves in the chaos. It wraps around your spine and teaches your body to call it home

I like to watch the pigeons do their little mating ritual on the roof opposite my house. I have never, in all of my years of pigeon witnessing, seen a female pigeon be impressed by the male’s silly little blobby dance. They’re so real for that

Killing Elmo is definitely what the good guys would do, right guys?

I love when babies laugh for the first time because they look just a little bit scared and unsure about what’s happening to them and these days that’s how I feel when genuine laughs take over me too

Saw a tiny girl in a twirly dress watching me with wide eyes so I gasped and said “a princess” And her face lit up like a lantern. I think the air itself turned into sugar.
So if you’re struggling to feel then maybe try that

Techboy messaging me with the things I say after having an edible again

A convicted trafficker’s words should never be taken as fact. They shouldn’t even be humoured. We should only listen to them for the purposes of education, to better protect humanity against their manipulation. I’m continuously confused at where this world is heading

Shame her she likes to lick my armpits

The internet used to be an escape. Now it’s a bit like diving into a pool of mouse traps naked