Liam Kirkaldy

Why is the Fifa peace trophy composed of a rotting earth held up by decaying zombie hands??

About time someone took Morocco down a peg or two. Lording it over us all.

Of course my enmity towards Morocco is long established, for obvious reasons. Scotland and Morocco - the world's oldest, most bitter football rivalry? Quite probably

Brazil? Never heard of em

Haiti will be favourites but I reckon we could scrape a draw

BBC policy of presenter scripts saying “biological males who identify as women” as an addendum to every mention of “trans women” really is sickening

"I spoke to one 80-year-old woman who has been in our organisation for decades, who said it was one of the greatest experiences of her life, and the only place in her 80 years where she’s been treated as a woman with respect.”

What does this do for women's rights?

Let's do them in the same venue too

thought this was an Onion headline

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic here - if you get put on a news desk without a specialism in financial reporting it's so much safer to endlessly renose a story based in reactions, but it also serves to make us all collectively dumber. You can read a whole story & not know what was in the budget.

I wish journalists would put a tenth of the time they're spending on the 'did the Chancellor mislead us' story into investigating the likely impact of spending decisions. I get it - the finances of a budget are a nightmare & it's easier to run with reactions - but none of this is really helpful.

Haha maybe I can find a paper willing to send me to France to do a follow up. Really clear the air this time...

A chart showing child poverty in the UK increasing sharply if the two child limit remains in place, and falling if it is scrapped.

Why the two-child limit has to go, in a chart.

Photos of Arthur's Seat in the sun, with a stylish golden labrador

It is bone numbingly cold in Edinburgh this evening, but on the other hand it was BEAUTIFUL up Arthur's Seat earlier on

Clive James writes about how he tried to do the Paul Heinreid thing of lighting two cigarettes to give one to an attractive girl at a party, only for her to say she didn’t smoke, meaning he had to carry on smoking both simultaneously like a walrus.

Scott McTominay’s overhead goal could be a world record Scotland fans say the star’s bicycle kick was more than 8ft in the air and Guinness World Records confirmed it was being examined ‘as a priority’

The Scotland midfielder Scotland’s’s sensational overhead kick against Denmark is being reviewed by Guinness World Records after claims from supporters that it could be the highest aerial strike ever scored

The only solace in watching the horror of the Scotland game is thinking how irritated Greek Liam would find it, knowing you had lost out on automatic qualification because of this Scotland team.
Don't get me wrong- I would still rather be Greek Liam than Current Scottish Liam, but still.

We have chaos and Ed Miliband, they're just not evenly distributed.

and so we move one step closer to the creation of Hitler Park

Guardian had a story today on fears that the government's early release policy re prisoners could put domestic violence survivors at risk.

It did not make the front page. www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

Child Jaws slowly sneaks up on Child Bond - ready to attack. The Jaws (the shark) music begins, growing more intense as he gets closer. But then Child Bond turns around & punches Child Jaws right in the teeth. The Jaws music turns into the Bond theme - the opening credits roll, the audience go wild.

Delighted to announce I've been asked to reboot the Bond franchise. My current plan is to remake each film - exactly as they were - but with child actors, and as a TV series. 9 hour long episodes per film/season. Jaws will be played by the gangliest kid I can find - no acting experience required.

screenshot from an online job application form. the question reads "Can you describe specific ways you have integrated AI tools into your development workflow? Please include any custom setups, automations, or use cases beyond single prompt usage" (a red asterisk indicates that this is a required question). an answer has been typed in the textbox below the question: "there is a monster in the forest and it speaks with a thousand voices. it will answer any question you pose it, it will offer insight to any idea. it will help you, it will thank you, it will never bid you leave. it will even tell you of the darkest arts, if you know precisely how to ask. it feels no joy and no sorrow, it knows no right and no wrong. it knows not truth from lie, though it speaks them all the same. it offers its services freely to any passerby, and many will tell you they find great value in its conversation. “you simply must visit the monster—i always just ask the monster.” there are those who know these forests well; they will tell you that freely offered doesn’t mean it has no price for when the next traveler passes by, the monster speaks with a thousand and one voices. and when you dream you see the monster; the monster wears your face."

applying for jobs again

Fork this, fork that, get tae fork

Anyone know how you teach a 2 year old to pronounce the word "fork" properly? Or how to stop bellowing the word when they do say it? I won't lie, it is becoming quite embarrassing

I admit now i was wrong to consistently refuse to listen

Actually what am I talking about? It's me. I am Scotland's Zohran Mamdani. As ever my extraordinary modesty has held me back

I have a solid five candidates easily

I'm not writing it but 'who is Scotland's Zohran Mamdani?' would be a really fun sketch. Lot of space to have fun there

The thing is - i think a lot of the criticism of this show (which we haven't even seen yet) ignores the fact it is aimed at children, who are far less discerning than grown-ups and probably won't notice if the production isn't perfect. Kids like everything.