Any Sleep Token song

Bring 🗣️ back 🗣️ dry 🗣️ humping 🗣️

I don’t know what I did in a past life to have to be gluten free in this one but I’m over it. I want a fucking croissant.

I have a job for you 😏

My husband argued with me that I could never be a top. When I was with women I was always a top but he doesn’t believe me 😭

So no. If you’re giving a gift, don’t be fucking selfish with it. If you’re giving someone a gift that is more for you, please just don’t even give a gift. And stop telling people “it’s the thought that counts” when there was no thought put into it. 7/7

She 100% could have ASKED me what dates are important to me and not given anything away. Instead she chose to make me something that SHE wanted, and honestly, I should have expected that. But I had to look at my abusive birth parents birthdays and their anniversary. Parents I was taken from. 6/7

It didn’t have any dates that were important to ME, because those didn’t matter to her. This is the shit that I think about when people say “it’s the thought that counts”. I had two calendars that had nothing important on them. 5/7

There was not a single important date TO ME on this calendar. It had random family members birthdays, anniversaries, some of my cousins birthdays, etc. It had NO dates for my husband other than our wedding day, not even his birthday. 4/7

I got married in 2023. The calendar had a lot of photos of me and my husband, but there were also some photos of me with other members of my family (most of whom I do not speak to). This was fine! I liked the photos for the most part. However… 3/7

I had a very weird upbringing. I was bounced around between my birth parents (0-4/5), my grandmother (0-13), my aunt (9-14), and other family members and friends of my family. 2/7

For Christmas in 2023 my aunt got me a calendar that she made on Shutterfly. I’m gonna tell you why “it’s the thought that counts” is bullshit 1/7

Hey so why the fuck is a small brown sugar espresso at my Dunkin $9 when it’s $4-$5 in every other state???

I do my best 🤪

I miss being a whore sometimes but then I get home and I change into my big stained tshirt covered in holes and I take an edible and snuggle my husband and I get over that real quick

one of the most fun things about being autistic is that people think you're being sarcastic when you're being sincere and then think you're being sincere when you're being sarcastic totally not infuriating at all

Just went to a GameStop and two cops came in because some dude robbed them HOURS ago and the cops had just shown up. The kicker is that a cop was across the street sitting in the parking lot of the shopping center I was eating dinner at 😭

Okay Nicole is my favorite ever hero on Queer Eye

As an avid Bluey fan, I’m thrilled to get a Bluey movie but sad to see Joe Brumm leave writing for the show :(

I scored a 193 on the RAADS-R test and even I know autism isn’t an excuse to be a piece of shit

WHY DIDN’T I KNOW WHOLE FOODS IS THE MASTER OF GLUTEN FREE FOODS

ME: [extremely burnt out] I need to take the day off to relax

ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive

Just realized I’ve been standing at my standing desk for 3 hours 😅 go me, I guess.

I love titty mushrooms (Macrolepiota procera) #fungi #mushrooms #fungifriends #mycology

My new office makes working so much easier 🥹

Any time a TikTok has that little thing at the bottom that says “creator may earn a commission” I immediately skip. STOP SELLING ME STUFF I WANT A LIFE BREAK

Me flirting: What if I Baja blast my brains out rn

How many times do I have to hit show less like this and block f*rry accounts before this goddamn app stops shoving that shit in my feed constantly

Travis Kelce grew up with a cat named Flash and I think that makes a lot of sense

I gave up on work at 3:30 and I’ve still billed more time than when I used to work hard at all day