Simon Wistow

a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in a park Alt: A man with a mustache waiting for something in a park, in an empty pool, at a dinner table for one

Just sitting here waiting for the emergency Missed Apex episode from @spannersready.bsky.social and @mattpt55.bsky.social like

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Don’t quite get people who live tweet F1 races … surely anyone who cares is either watching already or is going to be pissed about the spoilers.

I mean - I’d get it if it was commentary or colour but it’s just a statement of what’s happening: “Alice overtook Bob!” … gee, thanks!

The infrastructure of the Internet would run longer without electricity than without trans folks tbh

“So, we’re doing yet another plane crash where, err, two famous Vinces crash into each other?”
“Fuck it, no one actually cares anyway”
“I can’t believe I have $250k of college debt from Tisch to be writing this dreck”
“What’s that?”
“Nothing. Pass the drugs over will you?”

“Err, you just said that bro”
“Nah-uh”
“No, you did dude. Like, just now”
“Err, in that case Vince ... Vince … Vaughn.”
“The guy from Anchorman?”
“Yeah man, that film is so funny. Me and my dawgs quote that to each other ALL THE TIME”

“… and make it Vince Neil so we can play some sweet Crüe, maybe a couple of babes with, you know, the big teased out blonde hair. Like my neighbor Mrs Constanza used to have”
*inhales massive line of cheap amphetamines*
“… and who should it run into?”
“Dude, make it Vince Neil from Mötley Crüe”

“So, what happens next?”
“Another plane crash?”
“That’s like the third one this month”
*chugs bottle of Southern Comfort*
“Fuck it, no-one fucking cares anyway”

The private plane owned by Vince Neil from Mötley Crüe ran into the private plane owned by Vince “Swingers / Dodgeball” Vaughn in Scottsdale, AZ killing one person and the writers of this season of “America” aren’t even trying to make things plausible anymore.

also you know trump is fucking worthless because kendrick already conquered the only part of Canada that any decent American needed to defeat

Did my finger slip? Cue frantic looking through email and checking my account.

No - I realised that the calendar invite was from “Siri Suggestions” (which I presume is part of Apple “Intelligence”) and it had hallucinated that my browsing was somehow booking.

Good 👏 Job

Around 8:30 last night I was on my phone looking for restaurant reservations for later in the week via Opentable when suddenly I got a notification “Coming up: reservation at [restaurant] at 9:00pm - it will take 15 minutes to get there”.

What?! Did I accidentally reserve dinner for tonight?

Oh, I'm actually kind of liking it and he user experience is pretty good. I like the fact that things are labelled "Pay attention" not "BAD!" or "Sub-Optimal".

I literally have a box on my timeline that says "It's going to be alright"

Quoting from the post "There's a certain kind of person who's attracted to a shallow, exacting kind of moral purity, and who demonstrates his purity by attacking anyone who breaks the rules"

Hahahahaha *pause* Ahahahahahaha

Have you fucking seen Hacker News you oblivious tapioca brained simpleton?

A screen shot from perennial pit of wrongness Hacker News linking to a blog post called "The Origins of Wokeness" by perennially wrong Paul Graham, a man who won the lottery once and is convinced that makes him an expert on everything.

Me (sarcastically): I bet THIS will be a thoughtful and nuanced take on this subject from a man who has been frequently and spectacularly wrong about many, many subjects, even those he is purportedly an expert in.

Narrator: It Was Not

At some point I think it becomes impossible to tell. But at least it’s *quantified* now.

I had FSA money left over so I bought an Oura Ring at the end of the year and it’s great because now, at 3am when I can’t sleep, I can look at the app which will show data telling me that I have insomnia.

Elon Musk: Why isn’t there enough water in California?

Grok (burning through an entire lake to generate an answer): Wokeness

Again and again. Each iteration he degrades further as a person. A slow descent into inhumanity.

At the end … ego death? But not the freeing, liberating experience. A person completely disconnected from the network of relationships that is society.

… almost not a film but a Jim Jarmusch style series of vignettes where Mark stares into a mirror, tries something new to make people like him, it fails, something inside him dies.

The robotic Congressional appearance, the “hunting my own meat” phase, the bbq sauce thing, the “slathered in zinc” photo, the MMA fight, the T-pain rap, this debasing himself in front of Trump …

Reading about the leaked changes to Facebook’s moderation policy I found myself wondering about a sequel to The Social Network with Jesse Eisenberg just portraying Zuck as an ever sadder clown.

The Militia and the Mole Outraged by the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, a wilderness survival trainer spent years undercover climbing the ranks of right-wing militias. He didn’t tell police or the FBI. He didn’t tell family or friends....

"Outraged by the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, a wilderness survival trainer spent years undercover climbing the ranks of right-wing militias. He didn’t tell police or the FBI. He didn’t tell family or friends. The one person he told was a ProPublica reporter." #Democracy https://www.propublica.org/article/…

It’s the faint reflection of the thumbs up that’s *chef kiss* 🤌

I see the GC’s are upset over on the hellscape because a drag queen was on the panel on last nights Blankety Blank, all while forgetting Lily Savage hosted it for a number of years and they didn’t say a thing.

“You will be visited by three spirits”

The three spirits:

It’s a magical moment in one’s life … be sure to savour it

Thanks ☺️ I like you!

The instructions do actually cover that

“I want to wear the diamonds.

We do not recommend separating the diamonds from the potato; that is like separating a mother from her child. But if that is the kind of person you are, any standard earring backs can be attached to the stainless-steel studs.”