@countbinface.bsky.social
Space politician. Sane.
The Conservative Party has defected to Reform.
26.01.2026 18:18 — 👍 344 🔁 58 💬 31 📌 3The capital of Greenland is called NuUK, so if anyone deserves it it’s Britain.
19.01.2026 16:31 — 👍 126 🔁 7 💬 7 📌 0
No wonder those cowardly Reform defectors are too scared to go to the polls. I just had my best by-election result yet. Against bloody Kit Harington! I am binevitable. #Industry
19.01.2026 16:22 — 👍 193 🔁 10 💬 9 📌 1Does your planet have a CTRL ALT DELETE function? If so now might be a good time.
19.01.2026 11:02 — 👍 308 🔁 38 💬 14 📌 2Turnberry Golf Course to be officially renamed Shit Holes, until all American tariffs on the UK are removed. #voteBinface
17.01.2026 21:13 — 👍 601 🔁 110 💬 18 📌 2
Worried about the next 12 months?
Fear not. I am delighted to present, in association with the mighty @dailystar, my predictions for 2026. And I think you might be pleasantly surprised… Happy new year! CB
Cloaks and secrets. My kind of show. #TheTraitors
01.01.2026 20:01 — 👍 51 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Did anyone have ‘Count Binface has a more nuanced and sophisticated attitude to mask-wearing than Jon Stewart’ on their 2025 bingo card?
30.12.2025 15:35 — 👍 116 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0
Gandalf’s enjoying that Dyson Air Wrap he got for Christmas.
30.12.2025 14:19 — 👍 90 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0
All too easy. #thechase
29.12.2025 19:04 — 👍 124 🔁 6 💬 5 📌 0
A Christmas gift from the Binfluencer Supreme: an intergalactic natter between me and @susiedentwords.bsky.social ! In a crowded field, it's my favourite pod episode yet - and I'm talking all podcasts in the universe. Join us here: podfollow.com/trash-talk-w... Merry Christmas! CB x
24.12.2025 20:48 — 👍 65 🔁 10 💬 2 📌 0
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE!
Give your loved ones (including yourself) the ultimate gift for 2026: join Count Binface Lifts the Lid, the finest newsletter in the galaxy! countbinface.substack.com/p/a-space-al...
Subscribe today for a special glimpse into Christmas future… CB X
Ask and you shall receive.
19.12.2025 13:54 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What political gift would you like this Christmas? Send your letter to me (Santa's useless at this stuff) and I'll answer it on the next episode of my galactic podcast, Trash Talk!
12.12.2025 18:06 — 👍 22 🔁 2 💬 10 📌 0
You're going to need more protection than that, shitclown. Impeachment no.3 is coming.
12.12.2025 16:08 — 👍 108 🔁 8 💬 9 📌 1
I would say it pleases me to have more TikTok followers than Keir Starmer, but OF COURSE I do. And you know what, The Daily Star lettuce should too! www.tiktok.com/@thedailysta...
11.12.2025 11:28 — 👍 60 🔁 8 💬 2 📌 0Beautiful. Poignant. Lovely stuff.
10.12.2025 17:23 — 👍 20 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
Nigel Farage lets his mask slip: www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYP...
05.12.2025 10:38 — 👍 104 🔁 23 💬 4 📌 0Call me a mad alien with a Ceefax fetish but I don’t think you should be allowed to drastically change the justice system without asking voters in advance. Starmer and Lammy, if you think this is so important you need to call an election and make your case. I’m free in January.
03.12.2025 16:52 — 👍 212 🔁 30 💬 4 📌 0In bins we trust.
03.12.2025 11:17 — 👍 19 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Some heavy lifting would be a start.
03.12.2025 11:16 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0🚨NEW POLICY ANNOUNCEMENT🚨
All Evri executives to have their Christmas presents delivered by Evri, to see how they like it.
Love Christmas. Vote Binface.
Get the Black Friday Deal to rule them all! 25% off a full subscription to Count Binface Lifts the Lid! Get all my satirical glory in your inbox for the price of three £1 croissants! And today I solve Britain's problems with one simple tax. Join me! open.substack.com/pub/countbin...
28.11.2025 14:13 — 👍 16 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Read the Budget we should have got. My one! #Budget2025
26.11.2025 16:23 — 👍 75 🔁 8 💬 4 📌 1Boris Johnson
What he said: 20,000 more police
What he did: 23,000 fewer people
I am and have always been a faithful... to galactic podcasting. And joining me on Trash Talk this week is the perfect man to celebrate a BBC triumph in a time of BBC madness. It's Paul Gorton, and we're talking Traitors and a whole lot more. Get it here! pod.fo/e/3541ce
18.11.2025 17:40 — 👍 23 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0
Trump. Epstein. Starmer. Reeves. BBC. Trump again. It's a Smorgasbord of Shite: join me in taking the trash out in my bumper review of the week. Free for all humans! open.substack.com/pub/countbin...
14.11.2025 20:27 — 👍 95 🔁 8 💬 4 📌 1
Kill? No.
Slay? You’d better believe it.
Stool sample claims woods faeces are bear’s.
13.11.2025 13:56 — 👍 94 🔁 6 💬 2 📌 0Ok President Trump, if you sue the BBC for $1bn for spreading lies, I’ll sue you for the same amount. I reckon Planet Earth would crowdfund that. Then I’ll buy Mar A Largo, turn it into a climate change research centre, free Melania, and put a 1000% tariff on orange face paint.
10.11.2025 19:29 — 👍 739 🔁 168 💬 15 📌 4
