Joey Alison Sayers

Many people are asking if Alf should run for president in 2028.

Ah, I probably could have puzzled that one out.

What's a diller?

Oh, and so that I could be scapegoated for the impending fall of American democracy

I didn't transition to win at women's sports or do anything creepy, I did it to get lower car insurance rates!

I feel like there's a term for a one-party government, but I can't remember what it is.

When I read the news, I just have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason*.

(*the biggest idiots of all time are in charge)

Progressive Insurance just released an AI money mgmt app (because who doesn't want to tell a computer how they spend their money).

Anyway, it's called "Piere" and if you remove those letters from "Progressive" it aptly leaves the phrase "v gross"

Help! I've been in this porta-potty for 45 minutes trying to figure out how to connect my bidet!

Sorry, I was going to text you but messaging and data rates may apply.

Starting the Trans Women Make Eye Contact With Other Trans Women in Public Challenge!

I think the really important thing about the "trans sports debate" is that it's NOT REAL, the things that people are fearmongering about are NOT REAL and are NOT HAPPENING. Cis women are not competing at a disadvantage against trans women, cis men aren't transitioning to win at sports, IT'S NOT REAL

What is the pickle diorama? Well, @oaklibrary.bsky.social is hosting a diorama exhibit, based on articles you find in the newspaper archives about Oakland events.

Mine is about pickle corporate espionage from the 1930s!

I finished the pickle diorama!

In a "unisex" aka boxy-cut aka "men's" t-shirt I look like a piece of spaghetti wearing a piece of rigatoni (derogatory)

It's time for my annual rant:
* Call a t-shirt unisex is a misnomer
* All clothing is unisex
* There are different cuts of clothing for different body types
* Different people like to accentuate/deaccentuate different parts of their bodies
* Please provide more fitted T-shirt options!

What? Is the reference not fresh enough?

Release the other Epstein files!

When my parents were my age with just a single minimum wage income they were able to buy a house, jack it up off the ground, attach rocket engines to the bottom, and fly it into space, exploring the entire galaxy.

And they could afford a sassy robot to help them fight space battles!

What changed??

All this discourse about Gavin Newsom omits a critical piece of information: by 2028 we'll all be working in subterranean mines 24 hours a day searching for treasures to present to our capricious AI overlords to convince them not to destroy humanity.

The Oakland Library Wants YOU! ... to Make Weird History Dioramas It's easy! Choose an East Bay tale from an old newspaper. Turn that into a tiny model. Win respect — and maybe prizes too!

Apparently, there are enough people who get overcome with a history-fueled desire to create dioramas that the Oakland Library is building an entire exhibition around it — and requesting that participants get as weird as possible. Here are the details:

Make Pixelated Boat American Again!

Hoping science one day discovers a way for me to fuck around without finding out.

Sometimes I think that if I helped just 1 million people come out and transition, it'll all be worth it.

The world may be going to shit, but I'm making a large papier mache pickle and no one can stop me.

If they stopped putting his face on TV he'd probably step down from the presidency by the end of the week.

Trying to explain to my kid why Google AI Overview is bad. So I asked AI Overview. It said I should rub peanut butter all over my face and let the dogs at the dog park lick it off.

Finally ready to try A.I.! Where do I mail my question?

Basically I just wanted to share the cool lizard I saw today

The blue-tailed skink saw its shadow on the Fourth of July, so we get 4 more years of democracy!