Eee Tee

I hope she chokes to death on live television

I hope I don't live super duper long, but I haven't had a midlife crisis. There's just a crisis happening at what I assume to be my midlife.

Not renewing my medical cannabis cert because I can't be normal and have a normal amount. Sigh.

Maybe this is how math nerds felt when they invented the calculator...

Vegyptian

God Bless everyone within 20 feet of me only

Tru luv

An old lady who looked like a nun drove a cybertruck into a homegoods - probably a devil thing, idk I don't pay attention to demons all that closely anymore after The Incident.

Putting together goodie bags for my upcoming and exclusive birthday party. So far I got a frog bookmark and a realistic fake cigarette. Open to suggestions.

The only advice I have to offer is "don't skimp on shoes, or cheese" and "never model for a stock image"

Too far groke

Use forbidden words......... like peenis

There goes Sponge Bob! ...ripping his pants again 😒

Conforming is bad

Breaking: people with “struggle unless they are interested” disorder do well once they can work in an area that interests them

DIE AI

I had a dream that invented some kind of large steam-punk (whack) looking machine that I operated with my foot and nobody cared but someone said they liked my shoes :/

Amazing that these kids are voluntarily dressing like it's the year 2000 the era of no swag

She married a 60+ year old man and still has a job? What an idiot

:-D

Yes they are both geriatric freaks

Get in the piss, Andres

Councilwoman Inna Vernikov @InnaVernikov X.com One of @ZohranKMamdani's campaign promises was to arrest@netanyahu, the duly elected Prime Minister of @Israel, upon his arrival in NYC. On January 1, Mamdani will take office. And also on January 1st, I look forward to welcoming Bibi to New York City. NY will always stand with Israel, and no radical marxists with a title can change that. Binyan Gimel, Jerusalem 9195017 Dear Prime Minister Netanyahu, It is with great honor that I extend to you an invitation to visit New York City on January 1, 2026, to meet with members of our community and to reaffirm the deep and enduring bond between the State of Israel and the people of New York City, home to the largest Jewish population outside of Israel. In recent months, there have been irresponsible and frankly absurd statements made by Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani, who has campaigned on the promise of "arresting" you upon setting foot in our city. Whether individuals agree or disagree with your policies, you are the duly elected Prime Minister of the مسمنهعممسمسمامس

Mamdani has the chance to do the funniest thing ever on his first day

Kitty puked last night and now he's acting like such a baby 🥲

posting photos of the aurora is ableist against people who live in boring parts of the planet

Walking to the back room every five minutes to make sure no rainwater is getting inside the window where the cat is sleeping

Bro I just gotta email you one more time PLEASE

He likes pretending to play video games for clout

What if you added up all the lies