Uncle Roger

Am I upset that Starfleet Academy has a gay Klingon?

Of course not.

Am I upset that the gay Klingon is dating a white boy named Kyle?

Ehhhh… medium.

I wanna throw myself into a vat of acid, but I’m afraid I’ll come out all weird.

I really don’t like all the weird slop that nephew watches on YouTube. I need to introduce him to some old school ebaumsworld. At least that slop was made with love.

I legit had no idea there was a whole other calendar on top of the zodiac calendar.

What do you mean it’s the year of the Fire Horse? Since when is there a fire horse?!

Every now and then I see a post from some random account that is very clearly trying to fish for engagement, and I’m just like…why? You know you don’t make any money here, right? And then I block them lol

Oh, is it Fat Tuesday? Who’s buying me lunch? And dinner? And snacks? And another dinner? And dessert?

I’m living in that season of Supernatural where Dean is trapped in Purgatory with the gay vampire, while Sam is living with a random girlfriend after hitting her dog with his car.

We used to stop Apocalypses.

My life feels like it’s supposed to be over. Not in a depression kind of way, but more, like, narratively? I feel like I’m living in a hit TV show that should have ended five seasons ago but just continues getting picked up by the network even though all the original writers have left.

“In the [Wuthering] Heights”

by Lin-Manuel Miranda

My tall ass.

I told my best friend that I hope he dies when he’s 72, and he agreed that “early 70s” was what he was aiming for, and our other friend looked at us mortified that we were even having the conversation.

I may never have a Valentine as long as I live, but one day, mark my words, I will have a groundhog.

See, I’m not THAT tall.

Why did I just see a commercial for 96-hour deodorant? Why do you need deodorant to last FOUR DAYS?

Women’s curling aka Gurling

I am never more aware of how big I am than when I standing in front of people at a concert.

Relatable. 😅

Snoop Dog has had the goofiest career.

What if I drank so much beer tomorrow? What if I drank so much beer and it was 50 degrees and sunny?

Ep 6 the only episode that I actually managed to enjoy from start to finish without getting annoyed or zoning out from boredom, so do with that what you will.

Okay, Starfleet Academy, I see what you’re capable of, and I’m gonna need more of it.

(Also, please keep Paul Giamatti around for as long as humanly possible)

Daylight.

Thanks!

At 8pm I decided I wanted to go to the gym, so I naturally drank half a pot of coffee and then also drank my pre-workout.

I got home from the gym and had two hotdogs, a beer, and a protein shake.

This is a normal weightlifting diet.

So I started this four days ago…
#crochet 🧶

I’ve never encountered one, and I hope I never do.

It’s wild that JNCO has managed to remain a company all this time. Good for them.

Are they Olympic athletes or not?

It’s weird how they don’t have figure skating dance offs. The teams should be skating AT each other.