Mike Phillips

I am never here. I decided to do my shitposting on the press's account, since I am it and it is me.

Oh, so THAT's what it feels like to get 150 hostile emails in the span of a couple hours.

Program for La Boheme.

I took myself to the opera.

My least favorite part about my day job is telling faculty members that an emergency for them is not necessarily an emergency for me.

the gun is always loaded
there's a fed in every chat
your phone's a beacon telling
every cop right where you're at
your bluesky feed is archived
and your twitch they're watching live
so watch your mouth in public
if your ass plans to survive.

I met Ray Bradbury when I was in high school. I told him "I'm a writer too." He replied, "that's nice" and turned to talk to someone else. Not much has changed since then.

I see a butterfly. Or a weird sign. Or a dad carrying his baby in a moby. I take a photo. And I miss having someone to send it to.

One year since my mom died.

I AM THE KING OF HYBRID CONFERENCES! BOW DOWN, ALL YE PANELISTS. BOW DOWN!

I'm so sorry, Matt.

First time eating Somali food. It was excellent.

I took myself to the symphony for Valentine's Day.

I bought a box of around a hundred 45s. Almost all songs I've never heard before. Every night, I sit in my comfy chair in the basement and listen to a handful while sipping whiskey. I swear it's the only thing holding me together lately.

My dog doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Every time he barks or otherwise tries to get my attention, I ask him, "Is Timmy stuck in the well?" And he never laughs.

I just threatened to shiv my day job's new accounting system in the shower. So that's how my day is going.

xavierissobased - keep it goin, xav
Adrianne Lenker - Bright Future

My 10 favorite albums of 2024:

Zach Bryan - The Great American Bar Scene
Ayra Starr - The Year I Turned 21
Hurray for the Riff Raff - The Past Is Still Alive
Kim Gordon - The Collective
Tyler the Creator - Chromakopia
Being Dead - Eels
Waxahatchee - Tigers Blood
Brittany Howard - What Now
(1/2)

After spending 27 hours in the ER and hospital with my kid, who had a concussion, I can confidently say: fjkdsfjkljlkdsfjkldfsljkfdslkfj

I'm having a very hard time lately. Appreciating Romeo Void and Brigid Brophy, not much else.

My kid's team won their hockey tournament. The opposing coach spent the last 11 minutes in the penalty box for verbally abusing the refs. Parents, your kids learn how to behave from you. Act like an adult.

An outdoor ice rink with players and officials.

My kid is playing in an outdoor hockey tournament. I am very cold.

Photo of two cats and a dog on a bed.

Rare photo of all three mammalian pets on the same bed.

The difference between good professors and bad professors is that good professors talk to the staff like they're humans and bad professors talk to the staff like they're machines that do service work.

I hear that job is open. I shall apply.

I cleaned the snow off my car with a hockey stick. I think I'm eligible for Canadian citizenship.

Performance management midyear recalibration MOTHERFUCKER I WILL RUN AWAY INTO THE WOODS

Happy birthday to me.

I'm really enjoying this despite the previous owner's use of pen and two different highlighters to belabor every single point.

There once was a man from

Minor league hockey! Maine Mariners vs. the Trois-Rivieres Lions.