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Turbo Sloth

@benpernick.bsky.social

Jokes, puns, sloths, comedy songs, pizza

240 Followers  |  1,007 Following  |  591 Posts  |  Joined: 13.09.2023  |  1.946

Latest posts by benpernick.bsky.social on Bluesky

I should add that I staged a comeback on the final day and won first place πŸ†πŸ˜ƒ. More likely they’re wondering β€œWho the heck is Ben Pernick”?

29.09.2025 19:36 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Participating in #TGFBI is fun because like 2 days back when I was like β€œI was just knocked out of 1st by some guy named Bret Sayre? Who the heck does this guy think he is?”

And then I look him up and I’m like β€œOh, apparently he’s the President and CEO of Baseball Prospectus. Whatever.”

29.09.2025 19:34 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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At the end of Nadav’s play date with his friend, Noam’s mom said they have to go to visit Noam’s grandma. Nadav followed them & said β€œI’m coming too”.

Noam’s mom said β€œSorry Nadav, but there’s no room in our car”. Without missing a beat, Nadav replied β€œThat’s okay, I’ll go in place of Noam”. 🀣

27.09.2025 19:30 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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ONE. NIGHT. AWAY. The Azrieli Center Amphitheater in the heart of Tel Aviv is expecting to sell out, which is where I’ll be performing (not in this storage closet)

03.09.2025 14:28 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

note how Trump on a daily basis is trying to normalize the idea that he's a dictator

26.08.2025 16:44 β€” πŸ‘ 6934    πŸ” 2189    πŸ’¬ 652    πŸ“Œ 164

Meanwhile federal law enforcement is now happy to wear masks to avoid identification even though they were ready to arrest citizens for wearing them for health reasons

26.08.2025 08:00 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I entered a best ball double-up where the top 6/12 teams get double their money regardless of place.

I’m currently in 1st. And it’s infuriating

26.08.2025 07:58 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Also more named Warming & Blaze

16.08.2025 08:11 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

There are more current MLB players named Braxton (1) than there are named Brian (0)

15.08.2025 16:07 β€” πŸ‘ 11    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 2

In America, we don’t use federal agents to intimidate citizens out of participating in their own democracy. Yet more than a dozen Border Patrol agents showed up Thursday in downtown LA at a rally Gov. Gavin Newsom held on congressional redistricting an event that had nothing to do with immigration.

15.08.2025 13:05 β€” πŸ‘ 9694    πŸ” 2706    πŸ’¬ 393    πŸ“Œ 109
Post image 15.08.2025 20:14 β€” πŸ‘ 475    πŸ” 178    πŸ’¬ 26    πŸ“Œ 8

Tomorrow isn’t just another day it’s our chance to speak out and prove we won’t be silenced. ✊ If you’ve ever thought, β€œsomeone needs to do something,” tomorrow is your moment.

16.08.2025 02:02 β€” πŸ‘ 5404    πŸ” 1067    πŸ’¬ 69    πŸ“Œ 30

The rock hit β€œRemedy” by Seether really put the topic of erosion on the map.

It was quite groundbreaking

11.08.2025 18:05 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

So, no national guard on January 6th, but definitely on August 11th. Makes total sense.

11.08.2025 16:21 β€” πŸ‘ 22629    πŸ” 5714    πŸ’¬ 651    πŸ“Œ 212

First it was troops in L.A., sent to provoke and assault peaceful protesters under the banner of β€œimmigration enforcement.” Now it’s troops in our capital to disappear the homeless. See the pattern? Sooner or later, the monster comes for us all.

11.08.2025 14:27 β€” πŸ‘ 12827    πŸ” 4425    πŸ’¬ 479    πŸ“Œ 189

we're gone from "we're not cutting Medicaid" to "if you lose Medicaid you deserve it"

30.07.2025 21:43 β€” πŸ‘ 7800    πŸ” 2837    πŸ’¬ 723    πŸ“Œ 168
Panel 1: Shen is pointing and yelling at a hooded figure in a dark purple cloak with a metal buckle, and glowing red eyes within the darkness of the hood. The figure is carrying a large scythe. Shen is yelling "OH MY GOD, IT'S THE GRIM REAPER!!!"

Panel 2: The figure partly lifts the hook of his cloak to reveal that he is just a normal, fairly pale human, albeit with red irisis (possibly contacts), purple hair, and decorative choker spiked bracelets. He responds "actually, I'm just a goth farmer."

Panel 3: Shen points the other way and, with a shocked expression, yells "OH MY GOD IT'S SATAN!!!"

Panel 4: There is a red-skinned man whose messy red hair vaguely makes the shape of horns. He is wearing a spiky choker, a t-shirt the sleeves of which end in a bit of fishnet, and dark red overalls with a pentagram symbol. He has a pitchfork. He responds "actually I'm a goth farmer with a sunburn."

Panel 5: Shen points a third direction and yells, again with a shocked expression, "OH MY GOD IT'S CTHULHU."

Panel 6: It actually is Cthulhu. He's wearing a blue sweatshirt with a wave symbol in the middle and drinking strawberry bubble tea. He says "sup."

Panel 1: Shen is pointing and yelling at a hooded figure in a dark purple cloak with a metal buckle, and glowing red eyes within the darkness of the hood. The figure is carrying a large scythe. Shen is yelling "OH MY GOD, IT'S THE GRIM REAPER!!!" Panel 2: The figure partly lifts the hook of his cloak to reveal that he is just a normal, fairly pale human, albeit with red irisis (possibly contacts), purple hair, and decorative choker spiked bracelets. He responds "actually, I'm just a goth farmer." Panel 3: Shen points the other way and, with a shocked expression, yells "OH MY GOD IT'S SATAN!!!" Panel 4: There is a red-skinned man whose messy red hair vaguely makes the shape of horns. He is wearing a spiky choker, a t-shirt the sleeves of which end in a bit of fishnet, and dark red overalls with a pentagram symbol. He has a pitchfork. He responds "actually I'm a goth farmer with a sunburn." Panel 5: Shen points a third direction and yells, again with a shocked expression, "OH MY GOD IT'S CTHULHU." Panel 6: It actually is Cthulhu. He's wearing a blue sweatshirt with a wave symbol in the middle and drinking strawberry bubble tea. He says "sup."

31.07.2025 19:45 β€” πŸ‘ 9929    πŸ” 1193    πŸ’¬ 62    πŸ“Œ 22
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Let them eat cake.

31.07.2025 18:32 β€” πŸ‘ 25501    πŸ” 10758    πŸ’¬ 3777    πŸ“Œ 1482

In a single game, Yandy, Chandler and Aranda all got hurt.

A terrible day for Rays hitters with β€œand” in their name.

Stay strong ArandaYandaChandla πŸ’ͺ

31.07.2025 21:23 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I used to be all Boom Shakalaka and now I’m more like Boom MatchaLatte

26.07.2025 15:07 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Sega Dreamcast: Do a Crazy Grift!

25.07.2025 19:16 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

14 years ago, I joined some Rutgers grads and jumped off a 30-foot high abandoned railroad bridge (into a river) to conquer my fear of heights. I took a risk, but I was okay and my life forever changed.

From then on, I realized that taking risks in life is a dumb idea and I never took one again.

25.07.2025 19:15 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

In a world of beefy lads, he’s a vegan burger 🌱

15.07.2025 18:55 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Beeftacular dumper

15.07.2025 18:55 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Post image 15.07.2025 14:54 β€” πŸ‘ 11594    πŸ” 1398    πŸ’¬ 49    πŸ“Œ 29

His give a froth is on vacation

15.07.2025 18:54 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I’m so smart to avoid news all day u til time to go to bed and then check and be filled of irreparable despair and hopelessness for America and then go dream about it and then repeat the process every single day

15.07.2025 18:52 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Crooks all the way down

15.07.2025 18:50 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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