𝚂𝚊𝚖𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎

Most of my team at work have had storm trouble while attending a conference this week. Thankfully my new boss took my place presenting in NYC 😬

Night L, I will be up for hours as I've started on the wine! It's been a long week.

I got caught in the middle of an HR investigation because it was my meeting and I recorded it, but didn't see anything. One person was making jokes about it and I didn't understand and then I made some jokes about it, then HR asked for my full chat history... I'm still here I guess.

A large glass of wine

I have a large glass poured (may not be the only one).

I genuinely had someone having sex on a Teams meeting. I was presenting slides, so I could not see it, but everyone else saw it and oddly enough, even my amazing presentation skills were not enough to distract from the sex show. The guy resigned out of embarrassment a few days later.

Oh go on then, you twisted my arm.

Wine you say? If I must.

Well played, horses.

Arnteta

But not the whole jacket.

(an 'armless joke).

Purpose unknown

Being asked to revive an old project from years ago and trying to make sense of the design documents.

I am not sure what the exercise programme would look like.

Luge doubles - too close for comfort?

Grammar Pirate is irate

Buff sponge

Unrealistic body goals

There's probably a joke to be made about jaw ache and nine inches, but I won't do it.

Great minds, Gen...

I'm thinking of Dumbo?

Yeah, my cat can do that too.

They always remember though.

I work from home, so in some ways, I always am.

I learned my superpower during lockdown - after 3 days without a shower, I still didn't have BO. I do shower every day now, but I am not sure when to use my superpower. Maybe I need to go camping?

This reminds me that I have a massive bush at the front that needs a trim.

My back garden is neat enough, although I might give it a light mow this week as it's going to be a barmy 18 degrees on Wednesday!

I think if they just apply it to the roots of the plants in question it should be ok. I am fairly sure I have had this done to my back garden at some point, so to speak.

They do taste better from your own bush if you have one.

Blimey, how big's your oven?

At least Mark didn't quote this one.

Charmin'