M. David Ruff

Don’t forget. If the judge asks a difficult question, you can always respond with, “Quiet, Piggy!”

And $5 for those “circling back”.

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico https://theonion.com/turning-point-usa-announces-alternative-puerto-rico/

Sounds vaguely familiar.

Every person affected by this should sue the IRS for $10 billion just like Trump

Dear Olympic announcers: Are you contractually bound to repeatedly mention a skier’s age if they are over 30? We get it. They’re ancient.

Show me you’re in Sacramento without showing me you’re in Sacramento.

90 percent of my cell phone calls are spam or scams. So that’s fun.

This game is over. Save for the Gatorade and 46 more AI commercials.

Yeah. We didn’t get that in Nor Cal. Thank god.

And most of them are miserably bad.

The sound you hear is MAGA losing its goddamn collective mind. #BadBunny

Seriously. What the absolute hell was that?

I mean, they are very funny. But why is an AI company airing Super Bowl commercials making fun of AI?

Mama hummer making her nest. Spring is springing.

Forgot how much I loved the winter Olympics.

I have never heard of this elected before, but I now love her.

Let’s be clear. It wasn’t strategic. It wasn’t a distraction. He’s just super racist. And kinda demented.

I’ve been doing this 19 years, but it still impresses me.

We each have our own inflationary line in the sand.

Paying $6.50 for a green tea with honey is mine.

Please, my magic bean, it is very sick

ohhh ‘democracy dies in darkness’ was aspirational

Of all the freaks in the Epstein coterie, Noam Chomsky remains the most incomprehensible to me.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Now, time to give four or five congressional Republicans the gift of spending more time with their families.

Star Tribune: 8 more federal prosecutors leaving Minnesota U.S. Attorney's Office Eight more federal prosecutors in Minnesota are "in the process of leaving" the U.S. Attorney's Office, according to reporting from the Star Tribune.

I realize there are more pressing short-term issues. But in (hopefully) another three years, we will need to rebuild our DOJ from the ground up. Because these jobs cannot be permanently performed by incompetent social media influencers and ideologues recently graduated from Regent University.

In reading stories like this, I’ve concluded that the richer and more powerful you are, the more bizarre, ungrammatical, and self-incriminating your emails get.

Wasn’t the original story that she was “just in town” at the same time?

When federal judges are signing their orders “with a judicial finger in the constitutional dike” we, and the rule of law, are in serious jeopardy.

Not to get political, but America is very pretty and has a lot of nice folks making cool things, and I think if we had a president who wasn’t actively trying to murder us, we could have a pretty good time

Some of the people drafting tax statutes would have benefited from one or two additional English courses in college.