ELM

no more pennies? that's just non-cents

Breaking News ESPN notification Mavericks are expected to fire GM Nico Harrison on Tuesday

Why, did he do something wrong

I’m hearing Chuck Schumer traded Luka

If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing

Gentlemen: thank you for your service.

The Dimitri finds out meme, which is a two panel vertical meme of a guy being interviewed by a lady. The caption reads "The club is bumping, the ladies look good, the alcohol is flowing." The second caption reads "There is much pain in the world, but not in this room."

Bluesky rn

It’s basically Deep Space Nine.

I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them

it's wild to me that we have a letter from 850+ rabbis denouncing zohran mamdani for things he never said and positions he never took while no such letter has been written condemning stephen miller for claiming to "defend jewish values" while being an utter fucking nazi and dismantling our democracy

*heil monitors

“oh so you think the east wing being demolished is worse than-“ it’s a synecdoche, man. a visual metaphor. there’s a reason the aliens in Independence Day don’t aim a huge laser at SNAP benefits

Voting in 2026 is like hmm, but which of the Nazi-tattooed candidates will best represent *my* interests?

Two announcers, Jason Garrett and Dan Hicks, stand in front of a sign that reads "Big Turd" thanks to how they are blocking it

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

We have been owned by the Pope.

AJ West • 1h Find your own holiday instead of stealing. Today is Columbus Day as designated by the federal government Reply 6

lol “find your own instead of stealing” in defense of columbus day

I think this is right

I liked when the ugly late night drama was Jay Leno hiding in a closet.

𝐀𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑

After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.

A reply saying, "Edit: I just discovered Malcolm X was a member of the Nation of Islam rather than a Christian. Will keep this in mind in future."

The follow-up post is the best part.

Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened

Political violence is bad. It usually begets more political violence.

Celebrating political violence is bad. It usually encourages more political violence, against various targets.

Campus shootings are bad. They make everyone on campus less safe.

It's bad that what I wrote here is controversial.

New In-Depth Analysis of the Jewish Vote Including 2024 Election

Survey of Jewish voter opinions.
Lotta no shit Sherlock stuff in here, but NB:

80% of Jewish women voted Harris

preserving democracy + abortion are the top 2 issues for Jews BY FAR

almost all Jews think praising 10/7 is antisemitic, few think criticizing "Israeli war strategy" (their words) is.

I don't know why I keep reaching in my mind for this analogy but American political culture feels to me right now like what Moses found when he returned from Mt Sinai and everyone had said "screw it" and started worshipping the golden calf.

Americans Astronomers
watching watching
US politics Betelgeuse
🤝

“It could happen at any time”

Don't always agree with him, but I appreciate Mark Cuban's questions and willingness to listen and engage earnestly

Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it

The mental health benefits of not knowing any history right now must be massive. Moving through your day with total equanimity. What happens next? Who knows? Maybe something good

ICE is hiring! US immigration and Customs Enforcement is looking for highly motivated, morally indifferent individuals to join our team. Open positions include: Senior Goon Racism Enforcement Office Unmarked Van Driver (Part-Time) Experience with children a plus usajobs.gov

From this month's edition of The Onion.