Stu Dort

pete davidson shoulda opened with that norm macdonald joke about walking thru blood and bones in manhattan

if my fridge starts showing me ads it better be for horny milfs in my area

one cool thing about being bald is when ur customizing your guy in a videogame, bald is always a hair option and ur person in the game always kinda looks like u irl no matter what

my finger got infected from washing too many dishes so i seriously can never wash dishes again in my life or i might fucking die

"Its times like these we learn to love again" foo fighters

really?

the guy went "you evicted me from your heart and i deserved it" or some shit like that

Im from the rez and I just watched a Wilco show. Wtf? That sucked. They played guitar and never once rocked

on my way to my homies house, its a really long walk, hopin he'll rub my feet when i get there

going to a wnba game tonight with my friend and i know we are going to be profiled and surveilled as the two most likely men to throw a dildo onto the court, im not doing it though, i got respect

she be liking how the god has sex like that

i dont need anything to be horny

you must be on mad coke n ecstasy, to think for a second that u could have sex with me

i would play the new tony hawk game, but i dont want to damage the curbs and rails n stuff in the game out of respect for the property owners

theres literally nothing more old head status than going bald. you literally got a old head

piss drops keep fallin off my dick

words from da goonin pimp

my boy simpn like he dont know beaten off is free

who do you think has the best taste in music of all time

watchin this Descendents documentary, soakin up game from big homie Grohl

gianna michaels > helen of troy imo

just doing some research

you gotta leave a little bit of shit in the toilet so people who never been before know where to go

just finished the bin laden documentary. wow, never knew osama got down like that

My ballsack fell inside da couch n i had 2 scoop it out

yes, i got fired for drinking cum on the job, but i jus work in a regular bank. like where they keep money

me n my crew going gangbusters, cause we always bust as a gang

Collarbone Maroney, the irish mobster from Portland, Maine who controlled the black market for exotic pets from 1978-1985, and created the infamous designer breed of Bengal: "The Teacup Tiger".