Mike Bevel

Overheard at the #Rockville dog adoption event:

"I scoop and scoop. And I scoop. And I scoop. And I'm like, 'Enough.'"

"...having my gall bladder removed" is the last phrase I heard before I had to leave her to head over to the restaurant.

(My love affair with SDBO has been a ROLLERCOASTER)

SHE'S MAKING THEM WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO

She's now describing to these people the plot of the Twilight Zone episode where that lady has the bandages taken off and screams because she's beautiful, and because this is a world of ugly people.

"I'm the Marian of my family"

"They're, like, a monster family-- you know, Munsters"

she's now describing the plot to The Munsters

IF EVERYONE'S DRESSED UP THE NAKED ONE STANDS OUT

She said that. I love her so much.

She's going to a funeral next Saturday for someone's -- maybe her's? but how possible? -- ex-husband who went to the beach and collapsed dead

And Sperm Donor Blood Oath is apparently not doing great at her job

Even better, I think these might be colleagues or former colleagues

She was oddly surprised that her Asian friend said she was going to China. "Why would you go to China?" she asked.

She's now forming the shape of a bird with her hands

Now she's talking about quail eggs?

"Life is, like, so random." <-- direct quote

I'm sitting outside of a Starbucks, waiting to meet Joe Bevel and my friend Justin for breakfast, and this woman sitting near me, in a group, has been going on at full volume about sperm donors and blood oaths?

@cowbellemoo.lets.abolish.family, as per my previous email

A paperback copy of "The Great Short Works of Fyodor Dostoevsky" with a bookmark sticking out of it. It's afternoon, and there are shadow stripes on the book.

I've started White Nights and it's...fine? We learn one character was so buckwild that she had to be pinned by her skirt to her grannie's skirt. So it shouldn't surprise anyone that she is extraordinarily inept at making healthy choices.

It reminded me strongly of John Donne's "Batter My Heart, Three-Person'd God." How'd the congregation handle that level of horniness so early on a Sunday morning?

He then proceeded to tell us that mosques are more beautiful than synagogues because -- another direct quote -- "Jews don't have their own art."

(This was back in the 'teens, and the past is another country. They did things different then.)

Later, the guide told us that the synagogue was "abandoned" after Ferdinand and Isabella --& I promise this is an exact quote because I immediately wrote it down in my guide book--"invited the Jews to leave."

Zach & I went to Spain many years ago, visiting Toledo as one of our stops. Our guide took us to the Synagogue of Santa Maria la Blanca. "I'm sorry?" my Jewish husband said when we heard the name.

But Ferdinand and Isabella, who now see the Inquisition as their favorite new tool for consolidating power, write back, "What was that? We couldn't hear you over how great we're doing at the Inquisition." And Torquemada, unbothered and unrepentant, doubles down, convinced he's saving souls.

Reports of Torquemada's "zeal" reach Rome, & Sixtus realizes things have gone way off script. He issues a strongly worded papal bull, saying, "That was fun, but let's put away the Inquisition for now. You're *too* good at it and we'd like some Jews and Muslims left for other inquisitors."

It's 1482 and there are essentially no Jews or Muslims left in Spain and the main Inquisitor, Torquemada, has been having the time of his life getting rid of them. It's so bad, Sixtus IV starts to regret his previous approval.

[Four years pass]

One of my favorite anecdotes about Isabella and Ferdinand is this:

In 1478, Izzie & Ferd sd to the pope, "We would like an Inquisition, please. We think we understand how they work, they sound super fun, and we're bored." Sixtus, w/his own complicated moral compass, & a need for money, sd, "Sure."

Zach heard my gay gasp and smattering of applause then said, "Did a terrible lady do something terrible in your book?" And reader when I tell you I would marry him again.

My heart has been stolen by a new Varvara. (Stolen, but without replacing the OG Varvara, Varvara Petrovna from Devils.)

From The Idiot: Ganya's sister, Varya, says this about a woman Aglaya:

"She's grown up to be a hulking girl."

The way I applauded. It was her triumph.