mike

Correct but it's stirred into a bowl of rotten cottage cheese and rat poops

If this makes it to the sixteenth all of the players should be forced to finish the game with diarrhea

Nodded off at my desk and woke up to "and we'll go to the bottom of the fifteenth" because baseball is a sport for assholes (complimentary)

That "HBP" will be even funnier if these motherfuckers don't score

I just decided that the Mariners should win so I can spend the entire LCS being an insufferable fucking shitbag via "hey did you know that Seattle is actually north of Toronto?" but they can do that in 134 innings

I think that this game should go 145 innings

Eating pizza while I listen to an elimination game in extras that I don't care about the outcome of is pretty great

Yeah whoever made that flyer fucking killed it!

I'm just here to post flyers, man.

Flyer for a hardcore show featuring Murphy's Law, 25 ta Life, Humantrainwreck, Brass Knuckle Brigade, God's Favorite and Omnism at the Yonkers Brewing Company in Yonkers, NY on 12/13/21. The illustration features RoboCop performing anilingus on a killer beer.

This is gonna be a hell of a weekend

Man my mother had an early 80s Civic hatchback when I was a kid and I didn't realize what a sick car that was until a few years ago

She went on to point out that while Morton is in fact younger than me, he's still older than her

My wife's response to the Charlie Morton thing was "is he younger than you?" so it seems like a good time to start researching divorce attorneys

Same thing I just said about the Rays but for Hakeem Jeffries

Contract and summarily execute the Rays

Dude I still cannot make it through being introduced to a guy named Don without having to stifle at a giggle at the very least hahaha

What if Stanton is also the MVP though

This is Don P

Oh man I seen a Don P in the wild recently and it made me laugh but I forget the context haha

Happy birthday to you my beautiful friend

Tampa continues to be baseball's preeminent Garbage Franchise

You'd think so, especially after it came out that Tino was waterboarding rookies down in Miami, but man Baseball Jesus holds a grudge like a motherfucker

Baseball Jesus is still holding a grudge against the orange birds for the time Benitez drilled Tino when I was seventeen

Baseball is an extremely dumb sport

Last time MC played Brooklyn was us, Billy Club Sandwich, No Redeeming Social Value, Maximum Penalty and Body motherfucking Count in I think 2008, and this lineup holds its own against that insanity

MC playing between Denied and Bulldoze is fucking wild. Buy stock in kevlar and band-aids.

This time it's two separate things that are happening in hysterically close proximity to each other. Both are confirmed etc but I cannot openly discuss them yet and ahhh.

We're doing this kinda shit again, friends

I was an unapologetic Sterling apologist until the day he retired and my hopes were not high but Sims is a lot of fun

The silver lining to the Yankees sucking a gross dirty butthole this season is that Dave Sims fucking rules