Joe Momma

Cardinals pitcher

Cubs chased Knock Off Western Noah Wyle™️

I literally laughed out loud.

Life is like a box of chocolates. I’m going to eat them all, feel sick, feel better, get another box of chocolate, and never learn a god damn lesson

Illinois cloudline be like

What's your love language?

Wet

I’ll never understand why they call it pimp and not butt dealer

my tik tok dance troupe is not hitting the big time like I hoped

Guilt and fear are both normal emotions, but don’t let them drive major life decisions.

Happy Thanksgiving— hopefully someone will stuff your turkey the right way

*Mario’s voice”

Hi. It’s me, Molly.

Do you know what would be so fucking cool

Not feeling like I’m drowning every second of every day

So have people started mass unfollowing once they hit a certain number of followers here or na?

Put me in your starter pack so everyone gets blocked

Thankful for the song Come on Eileen

Thankful for being hot

Thankful for having big tits

Thankful for knowing when to shut the fuck up

🚀

I’m taking 100mgs of whatever these edibles are

People posting they’ve read 100 books and all I’ve done is take 100 bong rips😮‍💨

I prefer liking a post with hardly any likes than one with hundreds of likes

For every block I'll remove a piece of clothing

a man is standing in a doorway holding a stack of papers in his hands . ALT: a man is standing in a doorway holding a stack of papers in his hands .

Hey we’re trying lol. I see some new old friends pumping out bangers and I’m like—

Guilty! 🙋🏻‍♀️😅

New app but the tweets still suck

And you used to have to have an invite code…

DJ Khaled refuses to eat pussy but he’ll fuck up a McRib.

Just poppin’ in to say…

Very true