Carli

Also, it's REALLY hard to pick a winner, because everyone is both hilarious, so they can win. But also weak, so they will laugh. Except Ayoade, I guess. I don't know if he is programmed to laugh. #loluk

Watching #loluk and my first thought is that rich people's rolling luggage is MUCH more agile than us poor folks'.

Fuck it, I'm bringing 2008 back. I'm just going to watch The Soup and surf LiveJournal until it makes a time rift or something.

Take it easy

I really hate how often I say hilarious things in meetings that go unrecognized. THIS is the real reason why I don't use my camera in meetings- so no one sees the disappointment on my face when jokes don't land.

Just in case people don’t fully grasp it. The pardoning of insurrectionists is Trump’s way of building loyalty from militias and domestic terrorists to carry out unofficial acts for him

And also a recent addition to my bathroom decor, as humidity isn't good for paintings but cross stitch should be ok

Busy hands = calm mind... (Pls note this is paint by # and thus not an actual representation of my talent, just my patience and ability to follow directions)

@pftompkins.bsky.social is the glue that holds all corners of the comedy world together. Or I'm sicker than I thought and my brain is doing weird things.

Watching #aftermidnight clips on YT and wondering when Doug Benson became a lesbian.

Caaaaat

Alternate headline: Worst Person Angry at Best Person. No One Shocked.

Stay mad, Musky.

"Pile in Lincoln" like the city? Or the car? Or the president?

"Protect women in sports!" they scream, as they remove women from all leadership positions in Congress.

When life gives you stupid pets with no sense of self preservation, you make pet safe pointsettias.

The "for my coworkers" portion of the Home Gnome factory is complete.

As a Canadian, I've made a point to avoid the right wing "voices" until recently, and without exception, every one of them speaks about 2 octaves higher than I expected. (Current realization courtesy of Ben Shapiro)

If you don't use cruise control as often as you can (especially on the highway) then please never talk to me again. I don't need that kind of vibe in my life.

No, I'm with you. Our combination is right this time.

Interesting, I guess I've just never heard someone from the UK say it before. I look forward to experiencing it in the wild (and by that, I mean YT) one day. It surely won't be more jarring than learning how you folk say "yaw-ghurt". It literally put me off the stuff entirely.

How is it being mispronounced? I keep trying in my head, but can't figure out where one would go wrong with that combination of letters.

Small town woes: making gifts for all my coworkers (shout out to ADHD fixations!) means making 20+ pom poms. Because there is no craft store locally, I'm stuck with these giant steel shears as my trimming tool. They're all getting gnomes, I'm getting claw hands.

Not waking up until 5:30 feels like sleeping in. Is this what getting old is like?

So here I am, playing some silly game because I get rewards for it, and then THIS. I feel attacked.

As much as I don't want to be a stereotypical stoner, I'm 99% sure I rolled a joint this morning and immediately lost it in my living room somewhere. I figure I won't look for it, it's just a little surprise waiting for me one day when I tidy up.

Just started Man on the Inside. Ted Danson is so good; there are still tears on my cheeks, but the next scene, I'm chuckling.

Why does Wes from The Challenge look so much like Bill Burr and how can we make use of this revelation?

As one who doesn't dress fancy often, one of my biggest fears is forgetting to put something over my winter weight tights because my legs are already telling me they are covered.

I don't have enough followers on here to spoil anything, but my dress for the Christmas party tomorrow night is done and I want SOMEONE to see it early...