jpanzner

oh now you tell me

Ross Douthat, a stupid asshole that sucks

Ross Douthat looks like a discarded first draft of JD Vance

every sports broadcaster: a 44-year-old, a philip rivers, a man who sees the grim reaper nigh, will play quarterback for the indianapolis colts this weekend, and he will clearly die due to his ancient bones and heart

me, a 40-year-old: hey man what the fuck

Erika Kirk looks like she is constantly watching her kids' black friends use their pool

This is an achewood plotline

ultimately, no one even grieved Charlie Kirk. he was just another thing for the worst people on earth to get outraged over. and when the outrage of real events wasn't enough, they invented new ones.

not even his wife saw his death as anything other than an opportunity.

She’s a ten but also something else, there is something that seems to writhe under her skin. She’s a ten but you know that she isn’t anything, not really, that she appeared suddenly, and can disperse the same way, between pines and ferns, a pale hand dragging against sharp bark before disappearing

The first school to market itself as AI free is going to corner the market on people interested in actually learning. And I would not be surprised if rich families and the children of people creating this tech were the first movers.

There is no house on the street, only an ever-consuming void that took its form

I was masking a house out of a photo for an edit and accidentally made an ontologically evil image

Do it, Trump. Reopen Action Park.

Yeah you're gonna wanna turn these on if they aren't already

i have always wanted christ to goad me into suicide

the stank on 'analyze' is killing me

ITS A COYOTE! CHASING A ROAD RUNNER!

"I can't tell you what sights they showed me," Trump said after meeting with The Cenobites. "But I think a lot of people are gonna be very happy with what they showed me."

"The President can spend his time how he wants," Schumer cautioned. "But he should consider the kind of message he's sending"

my wife: we have to wear what we died in for eternity!?

st. peter: that’s right

me: [from the back end of our horse costume] what’d he say

Old Soviet joke:

Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?

One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals

the sheer volume of sanity-straining shit, it's like a cramp behind my eyeballs

Photo of a cap with the text: hello, 1am fleeing the American century of humiliation. Can you show me where to buy White Monster Energy Drinks?

Where can I buy this, chat?

I know it's a fool's errand to expect anything from the media but "President posts video of himself dumping diarrhea on America" is an important thing to call attention to for a dozen reasons

Psychic Resynthesis, by Mark Fell 10 track album

At long last, vinyl copies of the new Mark Fell release are arriving tomorrow. US orders on the label Bandcamp will be fulfilled domestically by
@forcedexposure.bsky.social via a new arrangement, and postage prices have been cut accordingly! frozenreeds.bandcamp.com/album/psychi...

congratulations to Andy Borowitz on his anti-comedy reality winning the Manifestation Contest

If I had explain American history in one sentence, I could do worse than "John Brown was hung for treason, but Robert E. Lee was not."

OK the wife quote is absolutely NOT the best part of the Cybertruck article

i hate that he's this funny. it isn't right.

Trump says a lot of weird and concerning stuff that people just kind of shrug at but right now I’m stuck on how he keeps insisting he’s going to hell

yearly reminder to people insisting that we view Christopher Columbus as "a man of his time" that *the people responsible for the Spanish Inquisition* thought Columbus was out of pocket

"police control of local news dependent for access, footage evidence deleting or released"

"One-third of all Americans killed by strangers are killed by police"

10,000 family dogs every year (DOJ: "epidemic")

"White nationalists pervade law enforcement"

"Police solve just 2% of all major crimes"