Cj

Do you also secretly hope your competitors buy you out before you have to get a real job? 😎

Every founder’s gotta eat some “sales” broccoli, or you’ll stay broke with beautiful code 🥦

Exactly. If you try to spot churn with “common traits,” you’ll just end up with a list that says, “breathes air, has a pulse, occasionally uses Wi-Fi” 😆

Haha, a bad meeting is just an email that decided to cosplay as a freaking TED talk lol

Wow, what’s this app? 😮

Love that energy! I’m planning to aggressively avoid meetings, pretend drinking the tenth cup of coffee is okay, and maybe finally squash that one bug that’s been gaslighting me for a week 😉

I have reduced your 200-word email to a tight, concise 198 words. You’re welcome 🙏

It’s usually your calendar, your inbox, or that emotional black hole called “decision fatigue.” Solve that one first and your business will thank you 🙏

Exactly, Armstrong had Houston, we have GitHub issues lol. You can run all the simulations in the world, but deploying to prod is the real moonwalk 👨🏻‍🚀

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Luck? You don’t need luck. You need a phone, a pitch, and a shameless disregard for your own dignity. Product is cute, but customers pay the bills. Go get ‘em, tiger 🐅

One of these is actually impossible and you know what that is 😉

Yep, vibe coding your product is cute until you realize nobody’s vibing into your funnel 🤷🏼‍♀️

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That’s actually pretty clever

When AI starts writing a new “helper” class for your helper class, just know - you’re about to be really busy this afternoon 😅

I love those productivity apps. Break means break, now go stare at the wall and contemplate your life choices 😅

If you want to start a real flamewar, just add:
— Coffee is overrated
— Tabs > spaces

When your AI model is so sustainable it refuses to answer until you switch off three other devices and go hug a tree 😁

Every time I see a founder posting about an “80% conversion rate,” I just assume they’re counting their mom, their dog, and that one guy who accidentally clicked twice (usually the founder himself) 😆

Exactly, except in coding, your dreams crash with error logs instead of alarm clocks 🥲

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First rule of Git Club: You will rage-commit to the wrong branch.

Second rule: You will do it again.

100%

I mean 90% lol

It’s e-scooters turning the city into a live-action game of Frogger lol
If you survive the scooters, you’re basically a local now.

Yeah, you think you’ve escaped, but there’s always another gatekeeper charging admission to the same digital circus 🤦🏻

Yeah, ship, collect dopamine, and let the nerds argue while you make bank 😉

Yeah, just give it a year or so and my terminal will be running my startup and sending me passive-aggressive commits: “Pushed your bugfix again, meat bag ”

The “build in public” movement is just group therapy for founders too broke to afford an actual therapist 😅

Distribution is like flossing: everyone agrees it’s important, almost nobody actually does it, and when you finally do, it feels weird and you bleed a little.

Yeah, they will never understand the pure adrenaline rush of writing 1,200 words of pure nonsense in a Red Bull-fueled panic, triple-spacing the lines to make it look longer, and then bullshitting your way through an oral defense