A medieval illustration showing two people pointing at a figure in the lower right corner who looks like he's trying to take off his chainmail but has gotten it stuck while it's over his head. The caption reads: "When I'm drunk AF and try to take off a turtleneck."

Same, medieval dudes. Same.

I floss regularly - not for my dental health, but to spite the hygienist who slighted me three years ago about my gumline

2025 is looking grim, but at least through careful effort I have gotten the family group chat to adopt "behold!" As the way to show something off and I LOVE IT

My grandfather consistently questioning why nobody shoots the groundhog that brings on six more weeks of winter always makes my February

If you can't love me at my SIM Hoedown, you don't deserve me at my Buying Lumber

“The Democrats didn’t do enough on Gaza, so I withheld my vote to make a statement.”

“Well, Trump won and now he’s gonna destroy Gaza.”

“Yep. We’re paying the price for the Democrats’ incompetence.”

“‘We?’ The Gazans are paying the price, not us”

Pause.

“I needed to make a statement.”

If the taco bell social media crew had any balls they would start a "Keep más in Christmas" campaign where Jesus in the manger is replaced with a big ass gordita crunch

Worth remembering that to cats we are Ents.

Vast, lumbering things with deathly slow reaction times. Mostly harmless, as long as you can avoid our ungainly lurching.

Gotta make sure my first post is memorable