thetonight.show

No guests tonight. It's Bingo night! Bingo is my coke dealer.

We're back! Did you miss us?

Goddamnit. Anyway, tonight's guests are guilt, ennui, and madness. With special musical guest, Måneskin.

Going dormant on this account for 10 months, for the bit.

Katy Perry wins trademark appeal against designer Katie Perry An Australian appeals court has overturned an earlier ruling that favoured designer Katie Perry.

Tonight’s guests will be KD Perry, Kaydee Perry, and KT Perry, but we won’t let any of them sing or sell their clothes.

Jay Leno Says He Was Injured in a Fall He told Inside Edition that he fell down a hill after taking an ill-advised shortcut, leaving him with a broken wrist and a black eye.

Wishing a speedy recovery to Jay Leno, but we did warn you to return the company laptop, and policy is policy.

I, the Great Baba Vegas, will now predict the biggest fun stories for coming week.
1) Washington Post oped explains 'Democracy is more of Mushroom'
2) Stranded astronauts on ISS will admit making up spaceship trouble to avoid awkward 2024 holiday dinners
3) All past pardoned turkeys will be deported

Tonight's show has been cancelled. Our scheduled guests stole the green room coffee maker and the good chair.

In the spirit of the recent @theonion.com acquisition of Infowars, in keeping with our very different financial condition, we're proudly announcing our bid to purchase the 1996 Presidential campaign website of Bob Dole and Jack Kemp.

Nice! Which photo editor app is this? I don't think I've ever seen an Orange/Black negative image tool.

That's a wrap. What a fun show tonight. Join us tomorrow. We'll host a panel of the most influential Democratic election pundits explaining why fundraising can't let up, followed by a visit from our friends at the East Texas Man Eating Lion and Tiger Preserve. It's gonna be something. Don't miss it.

A Rotting Dead Whale is Drawing a Massive Crowd at the World's Largest Lake A dead whale, complete with the smell of rotting fish and actors playing scientists, is a hyper-realistic call to action for climate change.

Fake spectacle featuring a bloated and wrinkled blob, the smell of decay, and actors playing scientists. Wonder if they can make it to DC in January for an encore.

I have it on good authority that they are already practicing the Macarena.

Tonight’s guests will all be named Kevin. You’ll have to tune in to find out if it’s any of the fun ones.

Yeah, I've put on some weight too.

I, the Great Baba Vegas, will now predict the biggest fun stories for coming week.

1) Dr. Phil will be nominated as the 'Not that kind of Surgeon General'.

2) An asteroid discovered to be headed for Earth will suddenly change course, in disgust.

3) Texas and Florida will merge, becoming Flexas.

a couch is on fire in a yard with a house in the background Alt: a fun couch is on fire in a yard with a house in the background

Wonder if bobcat would come back and light fire to the furniture again.

Tonight's guests are ennui and maladroit rage! Special musical performance by quiet sobbing. Tune in for the fun.

a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk covering his mouth Alt: a man in a fun suit and tie is sitting at a desk covering his mouth

fun stuff!

Dave Matthews band is so fun! I'm posting at the intersection of 49th and 5th. They let me hang out with the mannequins in Saks 5th Ave sometimes.

Oh, so it was you! Rhubarb-pi was our first choice for a username, actually.

a cartoon rooster is standing on a dirt road . Alt: a fun cartoon rooster is standing on a dirt road .

Two eagles, in this economy! Fun, but not very efficient. Even the Eagles only has one eagle left now. I'm talking about Don Henley, from Eagles the band.

a man with his arms outstretched and the words " you think i care " below him Alt: Dr Strange with his arms outstretched and the fun words " you think i care " below him

Wow, no fun. Can we still behave strangely later, too, though?

a man in a suit and tie is holding an umbrella and says all in fun Alt: a man in a suit and tie is holding an umbrella and says all in fun

Great show, Chris!

admit it, that was fun though

the fun will never stop!

never

stop

a man with a surprised look on his face is standing in the jungle . Alt: a fun muscular man with a surprised look on his face is standing in the jungle.

Gives a whole new meaning to let's stick a pin in that!

literally!

a man with glasses is laughing while a woman laughs behind him on a television screen . Alt: a fun man with glasses is laughing while a woman laughs behind him on a television screen .

WOW, that's a seriously fun graphic. I'd buy that for a nickel!

We regret to announce that Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow were involved a very minor altercation in the green room, and tonight's new special guest will be Larry The Security Consultant, and a plumber from the audience who is pretty funny.

Tonight's show features our world famous and fun WeSuck segment, with fun special guests Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow, and musical guest The Kid Rock Fun Experience. Tune in for the fun!