ulysses

The way smaller vehicles fare in collisions with big SUVs is a reason to buy a big SUV, but only if you’re a psychopath who doesn’t care about anybody outside of your own vehicle.

The most overused word of the last 5 years has to be “genuinely”. It’s become a filler word snuck into any sentence for emphasis or vocal rhythm. Especially by comedians, especially by the British, and especially especially by British comedians - but it’s genuinely overused everywhere these days.

People need technology to identify and track immigration agents.

Better Mac & Cheese, Kraft style:
1/2 lb macaroni / egg noodles, cooked as usual
2 Tbsp butter
1/4 cup milk
1 cup shredded cheddar/monterrey/whatev cheese
Directions: exactly the same as the box, just upgrade two ingredients.
Way better than boxed and way easier than baked.
A pinch of black pepper.

Most recipes add water because they’re afraid to use enough oil to balance out the vinegar. But the honey and the higher ratio of oil takes care of that. The honey, salt, and dry mustard allow a vigorous shake to emulsify this dressing so it doesn’t split in your salad bowl. And it tastes great!

Don’t buy salad dressing, and don’t follow the standard vinaigrette recipe. Do this instead:
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (I use half olive oil & half flax seed oil)
1/4 balsamic vinegar
1 tsp honey (or maple syrup mixes more easily)
pinches of salt, fresh ground pepper, dried thyme, dry mustard

This is the first time I ever wished I was a pitcher. I would have liked to just stay in the bullpen and be like “let me know how it turns out.”

A beet farmer sells office paper.

Why isn’t there a
Bo Bichette
Boba Fett
bobblehead yet?

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak up and remove all doubt.

Unless you’re one of the cronies making bank on the deal regardless of whether it ever works or even gets built.

Grifters gonna grift.

These sailors are not involved in a war. The word you’re looking for is murder.

I watched the 2016 Suicide Squad on a plane, and I still felt ripped off.

I wanna have two pet donkeys. I’ll name one of the Xoté and the other one Shane. Or Hodie and Schön?

The margin is even greater because the executions are additional homicides.

Most other federal employees are working without getting paid. Meanwhile the House GOP is getting paid without working. The speaker’s job is to hold a vote on a budget bill that can pass. He hasn’t done that. He hasn’t done his job. He needs to get back to work. He needs to negotiate a better bill.

He should challenge the citation on the grounds that it was issued by somebody impersonating an officer. Make the agent show up with their own papers, then challenge their validity. Is this agent a legitimate officer of the law? Qualified? Convicted of any felonies? Pardoned for any insurrections?

How can an alleged federal agent who refused to identify himself cite another legal resident for not having his documents? I’m not a lawyer but I think the Equal protection clause prohibits selective enforcement.

This isn’t new information. And, as the article barely mentions, it works with other starches too - including brown rice!

A Thanos finger snap, but with both hands.

Surprisingly effective political strategy: divide your opponents by keeping them arguing over whether you’re an idiot or an asshole.

It’s crazy to me that an entire city is named after those Pepperidge farm cookies.

Toilets in Italy: you can never find one, but you can always smell one.

Tell Republicans that none of this is conservative or Christian.

I find it disturbing that Winston Churchill was dating a woman so much younger than him.

Everybody always thinks the world is ending, but it hardly ever does.

“We don’t need a warrant” is literally what somebody cosplaying federal agent says to clarify that they’re federales of a despotic banana republic.

The “officer” is committing assault. I use quotes because there is zero evidence these goon squads are qualified, vetted, or trained. When they refuse to show their faces or ID, there isn’t even evidence they’re actually federal employees. No more so than say Lance Boelter dressed up like a cop.