Anísh

Is that Zohran Mamdani in #TheOuterWorlds2

Just swiped left on a woman because she misspelled Colombia as "Columbia"

Stephen Miller told ICE they had “federal immunity” from any crimes they commit. That is not true. But from the uptick in gratuitous violence against anyone who questions them since Miller’s claim it is obvious ICE believed his lie. ICE agents can and will be prosecuted for their crimes #ProudBlue

You: Obsessive, hyperfocused, socially awkward, addicted to Tylenol

Me: Confident, airheaded, life of the party, always on ibuprofen

Congratulations to @microsoft.com Authenticator for forcing me to authenticate with Authenticator in order to use Authenticator. Just brilliant design.

btuckertime tweet: Look, Tom Homan has not had a trial and has never been proven guilty. So let's all take a step back and do what he would do - send him to a secret prison in El Salvador until we can figure this out.

#Homan

I don’t mourn Charlie Kirk much, though I do feel empathy for those who cared for him. But I am grievously concerned for what is going to happen to this country next, because political violence never rests easy on the marginalized.

I don't know how I feel about the fact that Trump's letter to Epstein reads like a Rupi Kaur poem.

"Happy" by Pharrell is a great song if you're in a good mood and the absolute worst song if you aren't

Found myself holding coconut water and lip balm like alcohol and a cigarette and I think the picture describes me fairly well

(To clarify, this isn't meant as some kind of dumb anti-trans pronoun joke)

If you're over 6'2" then your pronouns are automatically fee/fi/fo/fum. I'm sorry; I don't make the rules

Wordle 1,511 2/6*

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The Exorcist, but instead of Pazuzu it's Labubu

When you unmute for 5 seconds during a two-hour meeting to say "I agree with that" so you can put the whole project effort on your resume:

BREAKING: Former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron's estranged wife Megan Kerrigan spotted with Pete Davidson

RIP Ozzy

Imagine being at a Coldplay concert and somehow doing something even more embarrassing than enjoying Coldplay's music

Going to tell my kids this was Labubu

I don't know if anyone else has this problem but I occasionally confuse "Mad Max" with "Magic Mike"

You've honked your last shoo

Also hilarious (read: pathetic) are the people who say "I'm finally done with Trump!" Oh, so you were fine with the concentration camps? With family separation and mass deportation? With corruption? With uncontrolled spending? With DOGE? With constantly embarrassing ourselves on the global stage?

"I supported Trump but I didn't vote for this!"

You voted for a capricious, dishonest, insecure bully convicted of fraud who tore up the Iran deal and constantly saber rattled with anyone who ever dared disagree with him. Sorry, but this is *exactly* what you voted for.

Pedro Pascal looks like he wasn't even supposed to be in the original movie and they added him at the last minute because he has to be in everything now

Is this the part when Trump sends Biden the "wyd?" text

Trump and Elon are getting divorced?? During Pride Month!?

Singer: How's everyone doing tonight?

Audience: WOOOOOOOO

Singer: Is that all you got!? I wanna hear you scream louder!!

Me: No. I'm sorry. That's all you get. Beggars can't be choosers

"100 men vs. a gorilla" Why is it always a gorilla? The Gorilla Munch mascot, Harambe, the TED Talk gorilla, and now this