SKRT SQRL

Daylight savings time? More like thinking back six months to remember how to change your stove’s time.

I can so imagine you vibing with it.

They took the ephedrine out of diet pills and the dxm out of cough syrup and they added bitter flavor to duster and morning glory seeds and then they complain that nobody is going to the store enough

I “extrajudiciously bombed some terrorists” too, but just taking a crap next to my roommate after eating cheese.

Yes, I’ll hold your beer while you research what Kavanaugh said about boofing.

I found out what boofing is because of Trump.

I hope @vanhunter.bsky.social realizes what an incredible song “It’s a mysterious hustle“ is. I played it at a party and every single person liked it on their own phone.

Starting today, I will be requiring all posts to "sink in" immediately.

If you're a news organization at risk of foreclosure, we want to hear your story.

I got deported for my J.D. Vance couch fucking fan fiction and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.

I always assume any music biopic will have exactly this set of problems. Only the Weird Al biopic somehow got it exactly right.

Rebates are just a company’s way of betting against you.

But this is like possibly my only bluesky like so I’m chalking it up as a victory.

I’m literally sorry.

And the award for absolutely ickiest metal album title goes to Aberrant Vaginal Gestation by VULVECTOMY.

roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no
these are just gardening facts

Get in loser we're... no actually just get back out of the car, loser, I'm going to bed.

YouTube video by Rare80s Robert Hazard - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I was today years old when I learned that Girls Just Want To Have Fun is a cover.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aLN...

This is an actual conversation I had. "If I woke up as a woman what would be the first thing I would do?"

Did you know that all species of Dik-dik were named after white dudes?

Did you know that the four types of Dik-diks are Günther's dik-dik, Kirk's dik-dik, Silver dik-dik, and Salt's dik-dik?

Did you know that the Dik-dik gets its name from the whistling sound female Dik-diks get when they're alarmed?

Did you know that a Dik-dik is a very small antelope that lives in the bushalnds of eastern and southern Africa? Follow [this thread] for more Dik-dik facts.

I'm constantly shocked at how long conservatives are going to lash out around the narcissistic wound created by Greta Thunberg's original "how dare you" speech.

From the linux community on Reddit Explore this post and more from the linux community

This reddit thread talks about a situation where a linux open source maintainer quits the group over a fellow maintainer's "we are the thin blue line" signature. Then redditors patiently explain the nuance to a non-American. Brilliant.

www.reddit.com/r/linux/comm...

Inside the Murdochs’ Succession Drama (Gift Article) More than 3,000 pages of documents reveal how years of betrayals led to a messy court battle that threatens the future of Rupert’s empire.

Holy crap, did you read about this real life succession shit yet, @deadastroman.bsky.social? Shit is wiiiild:

www.nytimes.com/2025/02/13/m...

I can't really relate to the "no fucks given" people because I give, like, so many fucks.

It kind of bums me out that David Foster Wallace was a huge fuckboi.

sorry but i wanted him to get up there and play 20 min of off putting free jazz with kamasi washington and thundercat

Drake rn: