Shaenon K. Garrity

A Brief History of Men are Becoming Less Manly

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It's different for every person, I can't possibly answer that question until we have walked the desert together for three days and three nights

It was also important to the operation to have some white people who Didn't See Anything.

The gerbil is the essential part, of course.

YouTube video by SuperfastMatt How To Break A Land Speed Record

Wanna see a plush Narbonic gerbil help set a land speed record?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvq2...

Dang, my mom calls with a list of relatives who all expect free copies

Thank you, it's horrible.

On a totally unrelated note, American schools should teach about the mostly Black resistance groups who ambushed slave catchers following the Fugitive Slave Act. Amazing stuff.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William...

One of the things I took away from the 60s and Richard Nixon, first mentioned by Hunter Thompson, but I believe to be true, is the fact that we believed, at time, that all our protesting, marching and sign waving was futile and pointless when in fact, it drove Richard Nixon to alcohol fueled madness

An angry character shouts in the distance, “I hope they step on a million stray legos. I hope they get an ingrown pube!” A second character in the background responds, “Jelly you gotta not yell about pubes in public. Also, mind the ice.” A nervous young person with freckles and short hair hides behind an evergreen bush in the foreground.

Yay it’s my book’s birthday; don’t yell about pubes in public

Now they've all covered it and I've got people on Facebook telling me it must not be important because Joe Rogen didn't mention it, I give up

Not sure if it's a Weird horror story or just a weird horror story. kaleidotrope.net/autumn-2025/...

“Come one now, come all ye, this story breaks free here…” – The New Pornographers, “Go Places”

My weird horror story "My Collectors" is in this month's Kaleidotrope!
kaleidotrope.net

The owner of the urban farm supply store says, "Did your hen stop hiding her eggs?" The young chicken farmer says, "Yeah...but now neither of them are laying."

New page of CHICKENS! A TRUE STORY OF CHICKENS up on Patreon.
www.patreon.com/c/Shaenon

You can just eat the Host if you can't drink wine.

I thought W. Bush was almost certainly the worst president I would see in my lifetime, and goddamn if they didn't go out and find a worse one

It's the tackiness more than anything

See, that's fine: Jesus said he was turning into food, it's in the book, we've had 2,000 years to get used to it. Deciding that Jesus secretly didn't like wine so everybody has to drink grape juice out of Dixie cups instead, *that's* going too far.

My Catholic upbringing exposed me to many negative aspects of religion but it did not prepare me for just making up cartoon shit and lying that it's in the Bible

I didn't even know about the Rapture, there's no way I can wrap my brain around the invisible angel wars

Earlier this year, Dr. Jane Goodall sat down for an interview for Brad Falchuk’s new Netflix series, Famous Last Words.

The premise of the series is to interview people on the condition that the interview not air until the subject has passed away.

Get stomped by Oakland (I am in Berkeley)

I do not wish to learn about the "protocols" of the social media site I am on. I just want to make lil jokes with my friends and not see nazis. Why is this so hard for anyone who makes a social media site to understand

Good lord, they're just people. I don't get being mad at people who are having a hard time. Help them or don't, but why get mad?

They have to deal constantly with people trying to deposit cremains. It's one of the great pilgrimage sites of our age.

So Newgrange and Disneyland, then.

Bet you're feeling pretty foolish now that you're not up on the latest arguments for horse slaughter.

Obviously this is a joke because the courts have already decided that no one can own Omegaverse

I do not regret to inform you that we are going to win

None of it was in pursuit of justice, but all of it was in pursuit of social media videos.

I have a whole collection of messed up VHS tapes they can watch for reference