Apple spiced dr. Marcel Piss 🍎 🍁

Drinked a beer

Holy freaking crap, Lois, I have terminal ligma

You’re telling me a home cooked this meal

Santer Cluhs

(Beatboxes piously)

The brazen bull torture device: a guy is trapped in a metal bull and a fire underneath heats up the metal and roasts the unfortunate guy inside

I brought a 1937 vintage Bordeaux to my beer league trivia night and now here I am

Building a huge fuck off antennae in my back yard for undefined future purposes

Midway through a battle between an Axe Dwarf and a 3-century old gigantic serpent with deadly spit

Axe Dwarf: “My clothes are worn out and it pisses me off”

Lmao

The mayor is locked up in the dungeon for 100+ days because he keeps getting drunk and starting fights and knocking precious items out of their display cases.

A giant cave scorpion was beaten to a pulp by a dwarf with a large gemstone he happened to be carrying around.

My best squad of dwarf soldiers raided a human settlement to retrieve an artifact book. One of them got eaten by a giant bat. 8 got captured. 1 guy returned and is training alone in the barracks, angry while thinking about a time he had to drink from a wine barrel with his cupped hands a decade ago.

A load of crundles ascended the stairs up from the depths and spent a season running terrified around the fort. Most of the dwarfs were apathetic or annoyed by their presence. Several bar fights turned fatal. Spilled wine, puke, blood trails connect the tavern to the hospital. So it goes.

Gonna dwarf fortress post for a moment.

My fortress is doing pretty good, considering my king just got his head bitten into by a blind cave ogre. His newly widowed wife has been drinking and dancing in the tavern for days, enjoying the feeling of euphoria associated with drinking booze.

The brazen bull torture device: a guy is trapped in a metal bull and a fire underneath heats up the metal and roasts the unfortunate guy inside

I brought a 1937 vintage Bordeaux to my beer league trivia night and now here I am

The earth as seen from the surface of the moon

Imagine backshots here

The computer is kicking me in the head again and I love it

It’s Fuck Work Friday which means it’s illegal to do your job today unless it actually has a positive material impact of society in which case I hope you get your underbits sucked/ate crazy style

To be clear, this device is used to determine if someone is real because an image of them might be AI generated online, a problem that these fuckers created in the first place. You fucking dunces, you morons.

Sitting in the forest beneath an ancient oak, smoking the longest wooden pipe you’ve ever seen

Inside the wizard’s orb, I found a modestly furnished studio apartment. Empty bottles of Rolling Rock scattered around. Bong that needs a good cleaning on the coffee table. Empty cat food bowl, no cat in sight. Halo 3 menu music in the background. Dishwasher full, dirty.

I almost killed myself from the stress of this fucking job. Thank god I didn’t. Good fucking riddance. If I could, I’d be stealing the copper out of the walls when May 1st came around

None of the issues I deal with are unique to my district; nationwide public education foundational rot. Meat grinder ass industry for a salary that necessitates SNAP and high high high health insurance deductibles.

My district is extremely under water financially (can’t stop overpaying architects and building sports enclosures) and they’re going to RIF a ton of people next year and districts always chop art and music first so I know I’m in the crosshairs, regardless of seniority. Thank god I have a parachute.

I’m so bitter. I wasted a decade on a career that actively hated me.

Fuck public ed, fuck this district, and fuck my naïve dumb ass for thinking I could make a material difference in the decade I was in this hell of an industry. I’ve got a guaranteed job in another industry lined up after this school year ends so you know my ass isn’t doing shit through May.

The grift that keeps on giving

The group chat discussing sandwiches and their corresponding soups

I think I might be too old to drink three beers

Ew

Who