god's fleshlight

Please don't worry. I speak for all stoners when I say I will not waste my precious and expensive gummies on your child

SQUIRRELS ARE USING MY ENGINE BAY TO STASH AND EAT ACORNS MAN WHAT THE HELL

I worry that I get mean whenever I'm overly familiar with people because I'm a bad mean person with an evil soul full of hatred

i wish that when i popped my ears and/or clenched my asshole real hard that all the pores in my body would eject all their oil and buildup in a violent omnidirectional blast.

the genie i found: hell yeah that one's free. keep going

yeah i anxiously avoid attachment. huh?

In Portland, Oregon, masked ICE GOONS abducted and vanished US citizen Gonzalo Catalan last week. Tragically, his family remains unaware of his whereabouts and has not received any communication from him as of today.

(in robot npc voice) I'm a very emotional and illogical person

you too!

[returning from time travel]

“ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler”

-wtf??? you killed a baby?!?!

“uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust”

-the what?

When I was 6, my dad put stars on the ceiling of my room to make me feel insignificant

the wife in my mind

Grandpa Simpson yelling at a cloud

Back in my day, AI used to stand for Adobe Illustrator! And we hated that, too!

Printout on a shrink wrapped pallet of a sweaty bald man on his knees praying. It says DO NOT STACK ON THIS PALLET!

that’s right beg you miserable worm

as a self-proclaimed fighting game enjoyer who has even said dbfz is my favorite game. i can't be bothered to try the new patch. couldn't get past the menu in 2xko (it reads the negative edge of my buttons in the menu!!!!). idk if im just burnt out or if i am moving on. feels like the former

Your ability to eat should not depend on your productivity

Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity

Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity

Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.

It aids fascism.

Every time you like an artist’s artwork, an angel grows their wings.

Every time you repost an artist’s post, an angel grows artillery and heat-seaking missiles to fight the forces of evil.

fuck my phlegmatic schizoid life

got commd to draw i-no and im really happy with the result

Reporters act like they’re visiting grandma in the memory care unit and the doctors told them it’s best if they just let her talk.

Talk about an in-flight meal.

For the first time, researchers have captured rats hunting bats by grabbing them from the sky. Learn more: https://scim.ag/3Jqldmn

they’re calling it the most justified aggression towards humans in the history of animal research

The year is 2025. The rarest skill in the world is acting normal for like 15 minutes. For me of course it's effortless

The original Far Side Cow Tools Cartoon by Gary Larson. A cow stands on its hind legs behind a table, staring blankly at the viewer from behind its heavy brow ridge. On the table are four crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with an offset crooked handle, a long stick with hooked prongs at the end, and a crude handsaw with irregular teeth. In the background a barn sits on a hill. Caption reads, "Cow tools."

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

what would win: a thousand pollsters or one dude who fucking loved the sound of his own name and who pitched a fit every time he turned on the TV and didn't hear it

Using it to make political Satire/insult (regardless of target) is using gen ai

Being a "small/indie" studio & using it is still using gen ai

Using it for "Ideas" is still using gen ai

Tracing over it is still using gen ai

USING THE DAMN THING REGARDLESS OF REASON IS USING GENERATIVE FUCKING AI!

cyberpunk 2077

Early humans were online an hour, maybe two hours, per day

i want a dc character who's like batman with none of the detective skills but every Tibetan Monk technique ever pulled out of a writer's ass. release the Tibetan Monk

"The apps are so advanced!" The apps are 13 million migrant workers in a robot suit!