Jackie Jardine

Something tells me I’ll be happier after Wednesday, when it starts feeling like fall. 🍂 🎃 🔪

As a representative for the chronically ill, please allow me to sing you a song of my people. Ahem.
🎶 Ow ow owwww why
Ow ow owwwww fuck
Ow ow owwww oh-ow ow 🎶

a woman wearing glasses says " don 't be sad " ALT: a woman wearing glasses says " don 't be sad "

Therapist: So when we think of feel-good entertainment we watch…?
Me: BRING HER BACK on HBO.
Therapists: No

Not a want, but a need. #ruckingfotten

I have a conflict and can no longer attend the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror-thon! But rather than eat the ticket, I would like to give it away to one person who is willing to support Certified Forgotten, the independent horror publication I cofounded with film critic Matt Donato. So here’s how it’ll work: - Sign up for the free Certified Forgotten newsletter at the link below (www.certifiedforgotten.com/newsletter). - Once you’ve subscribed to the newsletter, or if you’re already a subscriber, email me at monagle@certifiedforgotten.com to verify that you’re interested in the ticket giveaway. - On Monday, October 6, I’ll choose one person who emailed me (via a random number generator) and send them my tickets.

Hey Philly(ish) friends: I am no longer able to make the Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror-thon, so I'm going to run a quick lil' giveaway for anyone who signs up for the free @certifiedforgot.bsky.social newsletter this weekend. Details (and alt text) below. certifiedforgotten.com/newsletter

In memoriam...

Good luck, everyone! I’m a proud contributor to @neonsplatter.bsky.social. Come for the Arrow giveaway. Stay for the nerdy commentary.

This movie scared the bejeezus outta me when I was a kid.

So psyched to have two impending contributions to this retro themed Halloween countdown!

So FB Marketplace is really locked in to my personal algorithm. The only question is…where do I meet the seller of the vintage serial killer scrapbook?

Bird Is The Word

Waking up every morning like

I don’t know why I was sleeping on MOTHER, MAY I? (2023), but I’m glad I woke up from my stupor. As if Kyle Gallner could let us down? He and co-star Holland Roden have a à-tête that defines toxic relationships. Toxic and traumatized. Have you seen it yet?

Does anyone know how to get out of Bluesky censorship limbo for “graphic content?” This is lame.

Genuine question that I’m hoping doesn’t attract too many dudebros: How much protein is too much protein? I’m not looking to get shredded. I’m just substituting bad snacks with protein-based snacks. Yes, I’ve googled. I’d just like hear from personal experience.

a man stands with his arms crossed and the words that 's right below him ALT: a man stands with his arms crossed and the words that 's right below him

Time for an autumnal comfort watch. #NW COBWEB (2023)

The villain of the movie SEVEN, obscured by shadow and reflected in a puddle.

The villain holds a gun in focus, foreground. The background is blurred, keeping his identity concealed.

Happy 30th Anniversary to SE7EN. Featuring a 1-2 punch of my favorite modern noir shots. Stay tuned for a special #SE7EN article by yours truly, at @neonsplatter.bsky.social My piece will be going live on Halloween! “I’d say more, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Sometimes being an adult means buying a new garbage disposal. Sometimes it means buying your favorite fairy tale redux and a slug puppet. Ya know, balance.

The 2025 FANGORIA Chainsaw Awards Land On Shudder October 19 The 2025 FANGORIA Chainsaw Awards are back to celebrate the best in horror with hosts Barbara Crampton and Josh Ruben! Come on in for this year's full list of presenters.

The 2025 FANGORIA Chainsaw Awards are back to celebrate the best in horror with hosts Barbara Crampton and Josh Ruben! Come on in for this year's full list of presenters.

Congrats! Such awesome news!

Cristin Milioti, Jeff Hiller, Noah Wyle, Stephen Colbert. 👏 Deservedly won!

Ruin a song by adding the word “literally” to the title.

Head Literally Like A Hole

Actress Renée Soutendijk as a saucy 90s android in EVE OF DESTRUCTION (1991)

You better not be a sleazy 90s sci-fi girl when I get there. Me:

Ultimate comfort viewing. #NW PAPRIKA (2006)

Eggs?! In this economy? 😂

See I always thought to make little cracker sandwiches. Also, I think I’m being shortchanged on cheese.

It pains me to say that in my 41 years I still haven’t figured out the proper lunchmeat to cracker ratio in Lunchables.

Her Body And Other Parties is a great pick.

I’m working on an article about Dolores Claiborne. His work in that role, wow. Absolutely deplorable character acted to perfection.

Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr.