mediogre

text from my cool mom:
“Have you watched JD Vance getting booed at the olympics opening ceremony?”

This one is a doozy: An AI picture of Joseph Maldonado (Tiger King) behind bars with handcuffs on. He is wearing a sequined black jacket and a chain necklace and hoop earrings. He has a badly bleached mullet and a dumb handlebar mustache. In the background everything is in like a sepia tone. There’s the jail yard with a tiger on his left. On the right there are pictures of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein. two other guys in suits too but idk who they are. The text across the top and bottom says: “LOOK WHO’S THE ONLY ONE IN PRISON BUT NOT IN THE EPSTEIN FILES”

random thought but I think Kid Rock would do a really good Tiger King.
Which reminded me to check if Tiger King is still making daily pleas for a pardon on FB with AI pics. He is 🤗

I love when you buy a beautiful flakey croissant and they put it in a paper bag then you eat it basically half inside the bag because it’s so messy then you tilt the bag on its corner and pour the flakey crumbs in your mouth (on your face). yum 🥐_🥐

Automated response from Nancy mace when the word pedo is used

Nancy mace has an automated message when the word pedo is used

I thought that was how you got worms in your butt. Pretend you didn’t see this too actually

Canada needs more doctors and nurses 🙏👋💖

Nah but he does make super good nature documentaries

I don’t have a baby but I do a baby having amount of laundry because I spill so much stuff on myself so it’s like a little slice of motherhood but I’m also the baby

I would accept this guy’s life too

oofs

idk why but I’d pin this to my profile if I could

I can’t understand not being interested in other cultures. My lovely massage therapist grew up in China and every time I go it’s like I’m making her host a Chinese culture Q&A 😂 Her parents are kiwi farmers! The one child rule means too many single ladies now! Fortune cookies aren’t from China! 😲

“Oh but you can’t google it because google will say it’ll kill you” - my weird dentist trying to sell me on drinking chlorine dioxide solution as a miracle cure. I need to download Rumble and Telegram to learn about it. Also, yes, apparently it does taste like pool water lol GREAT IDEA THX

then they’ll send you to a support group so you can cry at other people’s lives too lol

i find it kinda weird when people are confused about why someone would get addicted to drugs. you somehow didn’t notice that this place kinda SUCKS sometimes???

A gorgeous Dutch shepherd relaxing on a couch with two white pillows under his head

Can I be this guy instead?

workshopping..

shit goes like this
the north, the sith
the major crimes and the tiny dicks
the orange king will croak soon, hallelujah

It’s crazy how often it would be better not to know

I feel like if someone in smiling in their political pics right now in the states it’s weird af lol

laying on my deathbed surrounded by my children grandchildren and great grandchildren. i can feel the light leaving my being, everything dimming as my corporeal form and immortal soul disentangle. i urge my oldest closer and whisper softly in his ear "I wish I had argued with strangers online more"

become ungroundable

one time in elementary school a kid creatively turned my last name into a fat joke and it hurt my feelings but I was also impressed and I still feel both ways 20 years later lol good one James

The R. R. in George R. R. Martin stands for Reorge Rartin

support groups are cool for relating but weird because it’s like oh good now I can feel bad for you aaaaand me

A picture of rfk jr. sitting in congress photoshopped to look like he is wearing a tinfoil shirt and hat The caption says “water left in a glass overnight tastes bad because it gets haunted”

lawl

young people, you gotta support your local Elvis impersonator because soon the old lady superfans will be gone and the art will fade away without you :(

it goes like this
the north, the sith
dumb take overs by weird rich fascists
we won’t see them in heaven, hallelujah

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