𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠

Onlyfans, but it's just me shittily frosting cakes

asking the void if it wants any updog

A haunted house filled with strangers asking which tattoo hurt the most

My soul is as deep as my pores baby

Putting my chewed off press on nails in the tip jar

The hobby lobby is not where you get a lobotomy. In case you were wondering

After your first couple abductions they let you meet the really hot aliens

Hot air balloon ride powered by morning breath

At that stage where my dogs get cat called more than me now

My two pitbull mixes snuggling with me in bed. One is laying her head on my pillow, and the other is laying his head on my chest.

Perfect morning

If someone knocks on the bathroom door while I am using it, I cry out, "The ritual is not yet complete!"

hey babe, I set your bed on fire

I will be in my mud puddle pondering and making potions

I hope this email finds you a meaning to life

*meeting a new person*
Oh thank fuck you are also dumb

Pinning my hopes and dreams on whatever surface they adhere to longer than a few moments

My ducks are not in a row. They’re busy planning tonight’s orgy.

If anyone needs me I’ll be exposing my soft underbelly then lunging violently at anyone who tries to touch me

Welcome to the end of your psychosis you are now in hell

Ordering more brain cells from temu

Look, I just feel like I shouldn’t have to bend over backward to get an exorcism

My brain farts have a wet and earthy aroma

My plague is bubonic and my anxiety is chronic

If you follow me while I'm on my period the blood magic is working

"still punk as fuck," I groan, feeling an ouchy and sitting down again

Your mom makes the most delicious urinal cake.

*unzipping your skin suit and peering in* got any room for me in there?

life was so much easier when you were just swimming around in some balls

I hope you guys assume I'm hot

today I’m gonna give it my almost