advil lavigne

the cowdog crop is coming in very nicely this season

> insurance says no prior authorization needed for a patient

> we don’t do one bc insurance says it’s not necessary

> claim gets denied due to lack of prior auth

> fuck you, actually

🐀🏳️‍🌈

“are you talking about running away from your problems” no i’m talking about becoming immune to them. life’s myriad and sundry little annoyances would still visit themselves upon me but i would simply say “ah, this does not bother me, for i live in a beautiful pueblo”

flip of a coin, really

i think if i moved to a pueblo-style home in santa fe it might fix me

good and normal way to sleep

who can make me go to sleep. no one. i am too powerful. i would simply evade their maneuvers

dogs are so lucky. they don’t get emails

riot, a cattle dog mix, is sitting very awkwardly

riot is sitting very awkwardly and pushing her face into my wife’s hand. my wife has a very cool tattoo of a triceratops riding a skateboard

we did her doggy dna test and the results said she’s mostly gummy worm

when morrissey said “i was looking for a job and then i found a job and heaven knows i’m miserable now” he was really onto something there

a large part of what i do at my job is communicate things like “yes i see this data and the point you are trying to convey with it, however here’s what’s actually happening in reality” and while it’s incredibly tedious i think maybe there needs to be more of that

my dog when she sees the vacuum cleaner

No Noise November. everybody shut up

born to play nubby’s number factor on my shitty laptop and watch Number Go Up. forced to have long phone conversations with geneticists about phenylalanine hydroxylase deficiency

i call this feeling “christ alive i’ll just figure out how to do it in excel”

i said YEW

Put the pronouns back in the email

2026 Primary Woke Wave

up early today and going to make a difference in someone’s life (jammed a potato into my neighbor’s car muffler)

mother FUCKER

every couple of days the official white house website says "we want to kill you. we want to destroy everything you love. we are the living incarnation of death and we shall sweep life from this earth like an unstoppable whirlwind" and its like oh. ok. do i still have to pay taxes

oh he looks so handsome! I’m so glad you guys are together. it’s so important to have a weird dog

he’s great! starting to slow down at 11 but still a real good guy. and he has a new friend riot, who is a very sweet queensland heeler mix who has bees where her brain cells should be :)

really appreciate the vibe of my neighbor’s halloween decorations this year. nice to see some representation for the girlies who are a horrible boneless pile in the corner

Dangling a Reese’s scientist off a balcony Suge Knight style until they explain why the pumpkin peanut butter cups taste better than the normal ones

We gotta normalize responding to bullshit with "dude who fucking cares"

you put the video in the panini press and you just. you smoosh it

do you ever just. you’re so tired that you. you just

really appreciate the vibe of my neighbor’s halloween decorations this year. nice to see some representation for the girlies who are a horrible boneless pile in the corner

i have to be so honest. when i write “thank you for bringing this to our attention; I’ve opened a ticket internally to investigate this issue further” in a work email what i actually mean is “i don’t know what the problem is and i don’t actually care. please stop talking to me about it, forever”